Talk Cancer

Question:

permanently into the ether: Hi, Gramma!  I’ve sometimes not remembered if I’ve taken my meds or not, and I’m not about to take them if there’s a chance I already have, so I just wait till the next morning—if I’m dizzy, light-headed and slightly nauseated, I know I did indeed forget them the day before!  So I take them that second morning and lie down for about an hour if I can; that usually does it.  I’m only taking Effexor, though, since I’m dealing with chronic depression and not BP.  That would be so much more complicated!  I’d probably get one of those weekly pill containers to be sure of my accuracy. I mean, we take the danged things so often, we can visualize ourselves taking them whether we actually did or not! My best to you!   Kathy

I put out my medications and supplements two weeks at a time.  I have one of those weekly pill holders with 7 holders for each day.  Each day has four time slots–and I take pills 5 times/day–so one slot serves double duty. If I did not do this–I’d never take anything at the proper time! LOL  also, it helps me to figure out when I need to order refills, so I never run out.  Well, almost never. <grin Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Hi, Gramma!  I’ve sometimes not remembered if I’ve taken my meds or not, and I’m not about to take them if there’s a chance I already have, so I just wait till the next morning—if I’m dizzy, light-headed and slightly nauseated, I know I did indeed forget them the day before!  So I take them that second morning and lie down for about an hour if I can; that usually does it.  I’m only taking Effexor, though, since I’m dealing with chronic depression and not BP.  That would be so much more complicated!  I’d probably get one of those weekly pill containers to be sure of my accuracy. I mean, we take the danged things so often, we can visualize ourselves taking them whether we actually did or not! My best to you!   Kathy

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Kathy, This is truly an amazing group of people!! For some reason known only to the pill demons, I didn’t take my meds right on time last night, and then compounded it today by doing the same thing this morning. As a consequence, I am now so fuzzy headed, and crabby, and fragile that I honestly don’t know what I want to do. And then I drop in here and check the posts, and here is the two great posts from you. And while they didn’t cause miracles, they did remind me that things have been better, and they will get better again. That is something I have to believe to keep on going. As for making mistakes, I have made some doozies in my time. Too depressing to recount, but just suffice it to say that I am an expert at that. Your suggestion about a phone visit with the therapist is an excellent one. One thing I have learned is nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I will arrange that after I know about the job, and it should make the aprehension much less. I am at the point today, where I am writing everything down that I need to make decisions on, and doing it tomorrow, or sometime later when I am not so fuzzy. I haven’t felt like this in quite some time, but then I haven’t messed with my meds in quite some time. Why do I do this? I know better, but it was just like I couldn’t help myself. As for losing someone to death, it seems like the people that you think you can count on the most, are the ones most likely to let you down. I am trying to learn that the only one I can count on is myself, but that is really a tall order. Especially when I can’t decide what to have for lunch!!  ;-) Sometimes I really get into this funk and wonder what I ever did to have this happen to me. Mentally I know better, but emotionally it is very hard to reconcile sometimes. Enough of my maudlin rambling today. Suffice it to say it is great to know that you are all here for me when I need it the most. Gramma Gramma, I’m a grandmother, too, and have thought about the idea of a move to be closer to my kids and grandchildren–aren’t grandchildren marvelous?!–but my children aren’t necessarily living where they’ll settle, so I’m not pulling up my roots yet. What about having a phone visit with the new therapist before you move? That might ease some of your fears about many things.  And, remember, you can always change your mind if you don’t like the way things work out in the new area!  We’re always growing, improving, learning, and deciding; some of what makes life fresh and new is the possibility of making a mistake and then using it to go a new direction. Let us know how things proceed!  And welcome to this group; it’s a great bunch of people. Warmly,  Kathy The doc I feel is most important is my therapist, and he has a friend in the town I want to move to, who he says practices a lot the way he does. He has talked to him, and has everything set up for when I make the move. The pdoc is going to be a referral that the therapist feels comfortable working with. Sometimes I feel like I just fall into stuff that is too good to be true. In the past though, there has always been a pretty big price to pay. Sure hope that doesn’t happen again. Gramma

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – etched permanently into the ether: My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!! That sounds really great!  Hopefully, your doctors have information that leads them to believe that their referrals will be doctors with similar treatment philosophies.  You will have to express these concerns to your new treatment team–be honest with them and you should reap the rewards. Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Kathy, This is truly an amazing group of people!! For some reason known only to the pill demons, I didn’t take my meds right on time last night, and then compounded it today by doing the same thing this morning. As a consequence, I am now so fuzzy headed, and crabby, and fragile that I honestly don’t know what I want to do. And then I drop in here and check the posts, and here is the two great posts from you. And while they didn’t cause miracles, they did remind me that things have been better, and they will get better again. That is something I have to believe to keep on going. As for making mistakes, I have made some doozies in my time. Too depressing to recount, but just suffice it to say that I am an expert at that. Your suggestion about a phone visit with the therapist is an excellent one. One thing I have learned is nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I will arrange that after I know about the job, and it should make the aprehension much less. I am at the point today, where I am writing everything down that I need to make decisions on, and doing it tomorrow, or sometime later when I am not so fuzzy. I haven’t felt like this in quite some time, but then I haven’t messed with my meds in quite some time. Why do I do this? I know better, but it was just like I couldn’t help myself. As for losing someone to death, it seems like the people that you think you can count on the most, are the ones most likely to let you down. I am trying to learn that the only one I can count on is myself, but that is really a tall order. Especially when I can’t decide what to have for lunch!!  ;-) Sometimes I really get into this funk and wonder what I ever did to have this happen to me. Mentally I know better, but emotionally it is very hard to reconcile sometimes. Enough of my maudlin rambling today. Suffice it to say it is great to know that you are all here for me when I need it the most. Gramma

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Gramma, I’m a grandmother, too, and have thought about the idea of a move to be closer to my kids and grandchildren–aren’t grandchildren marvelous?!–but my children aren’t necessarily living where they’ll settle, so I’m not pulling up my roots yet. What about having a phone visit with the new therapist before you move? That might ease some of your fears about many things.  And, remember, you can always change your mind if you don’t like the way things work out in the new area!  We’re always growing, improving, learning, and deciding; some of what makes life fresh and new is the possibility of making a mistake and then using it to go a new direction. Let us know how things proceed!  And welcome to this group; it’s a great bunch of people. Warmly,  Kathy The doc I feel is most important is my therapist, and he has a friend in the town I want to move to, who he says practices a lot the way he does. He has talked to him, and has everything set up for when I make the move. The pdoc is going to be a referral that the therapist feels comfortable working with. Sometimes I feel like I just fall into stuff that is too good to be true. In the past though, there has always been a pretty big price to pay. Sure hope that doesn’t happen again. Gramma etched permanently into the ether: My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!! That sounds really great!  Hopefully, your doctors have information that leads them to believe that their referrals will be doctors with similar treatment philosophies.  You will have to express these concerns to your new treatment team–be honest with them and you should reap the rewards. Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Bonnie, Aren’t grandkids just the neatest things ever invented? Gramma

: )  They sure are! Bonnie

Response:

Gramma, I’m a grandmother, too, and have thought about the idea of a move to be closer to my kids and grandchildren–aren’t grandchildren marvelous?!–but my children aren’t necessarily living where they’ll settle, so I’m not pulling up my roots yet. What about having a phone visit with the new therapist before you move? That might ease some of your fears about many things.  And, remember, you can always change your mind if you don’t like the way things work out in the new area!  We’re always growing, improving, learning, and deciding; some of what makes life fresh and new is the possibility of making a mistake and then using it to go a new direction. Let us know how things proceed!  And welcome to this group; it’s a great bunch of people. Warmly,  Kathy

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The doc I feel is most important is my therapist, and he has a friend in the town I want to move to, who he says practices a lot the way he does. He has talked to him, and has everything set up for when I make the move. The pdoc is going to be a referral that the therapist feels comfortable working with. Sometimes I feel like I just fall into stuff that is too good to be true. In the past though, there has always been a pretty big price to pay. Sure hope that doesn’t happen again. Gramma etched permanently into the ether: My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!! That sounds really great!  Hopefully, your doctors have information that leads them to believe that their referrals will be doctors with similar treatment philosophies.  You will have to express these concerns to your new treatment team–be honest with them and you should reap the rewards. Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

permanently into the ether: My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!!

That sounds really great!  Hopefully, your doctors have information that leads them to believe that their referrals will be doctors with similar treatment philosophies.  You will have to express these concerns to your new treatment team–be honest with them and you should reap the rewards. Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

The doc I feel is most important is my therapist, and he has a friend in the town I want to move to, who he says practices a lot the way he does. He has talked to him, and has everything set up for when I make the move. The pdoc is going to be a referral that the therapist feels comfortable working with. Sometimes I feel like I just fall into stuff that is too good to be true. In the past though, there has always been a pretty big price to pay. Sure hope that doesn’t happen again. Gramma

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – etched permanently into the ether: My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!! That sounds really great!  Hopefully, your doctors have information that leads them to believe that their referrals will be doctors with similar treatment philosophies.  You will have to express these concerns to your new treatment team–be honest with them and you should reap the rewards. Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Bonnie, Aren’t grandkids just the neatest things ever invented? Gramma

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Welcome Gramma!  This is certainly the place for you if you are looking for others that understand.  That is one of the best things about this group to me, plue the fact that there are some really great people here. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. Unless your pdoc has BP I don’t think they could possibly *really* understand.  I think it helps if you have one you can relate to well and then stay with that same one so they can get to know you. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group.  – GrammaOfNine It would be great for you to join us.  I hope we hear from you a lot more. Bonnie PS I’m Gramma of two and love it!  Nine is quite a group there! Congratulations!

Response:

Thank you all for such a warm welcome! It has been a long time (if ever) since I felt totally accepted from people who actually knew that I had a problem.

This is the only place (other than with my immediate family) that I feel accepted.  We all need that. A little bio…..I have spent years having doctors tell me that I was crazy, had panic attacks, was not right with God (yep, a MD told me that), that it was all in my head, and that’s just to recite a few. It wasn’t until a little over a year ago when I crashed big time that I went to a pdoc and was actually diagnosed.

What a relief to finally get a diagnosis.  I’m glad that you found a pdoc that could help you. I don’t know if I am a I or a II. I am not all that versed in all the ramifications of it, but I know that it is complicated by the fact that I had thyroid cancer (complete thyroidectomy in 1980) and lymphatic cancer, so my meds to crazy at times. Synthroid just doesn’t do the same as the real thing. I then had cancer again in 1982, and sit scared of it every day

now. I’m so sorry to hear about your health problems.  Cancer certainly is a very frightening thing.  It scares me to death also.  If your last cancer was in 1982 then I would hope that is long enough to be able to celebrate being a survivor of it but I do know in reality that it is hard to not be scared. My mother lost a kidney to it and later died from bone cancer and now my brother has mantel cell lymphoma and is in stage 4 of that so it doesn’t look good.  Right after my brother was diagnosed I had some problems with my ovaries and they think there is a chance of cancer.  I had a series of tests last month and now they want me to wait until the first of Feburary and then redo the tests before they resort to surgery.  I kind of feel like I’m sitting on pins and needles in the meantime.  Still, I know I’m very fortunate compared to many others. I have managed to keep on working by playing a game of pretend. I know that the people that I am the closest with at work know that I have a "problem" and they have learned to walk gently when I am "not myself". But I do a good job and they are willing to forgive my downfalls so far.

It’s great that they are understanding.  I play that game of pretend at my job.  There are times that I think that is what some of us must do to survive in this world. I am terrified that I will some day go over the deep end and not be able to get back, so I am a fanatic about taking my meds. I am on Lyvoxyl, prozac, trileptal, zantac, propronolol (for tremor side effects), and trazadone for sleep. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t sound like much compared to some of what I have read here, but I am grateful that I can still function.

We all have our individual trials to deal with and we all can help one another in one way or another since we have all this in common. In fact, I have climbed out on a limb and have applied for a job in another state (where most of my kids live), and it looks like I have a good chance of getting it. I feel kind of guilty when I read how difficult it is for some of the group right now. I was terrified that this move was a manic thing that I wouldn’t be able to carry through on, but the pdoc says it is a good thing. Guess I gotta trust someone, cause I sure can’t trust myself.

It sounds like that could be a good move for you.  Keep us posted on how it goes.  I’m sure it would be nice to be close to your kids. My pdoc and therapist have had me on a very strick schedule, therapy three times a week, and pdoc once a month for the last year. I panic if one of them is gone.

My pdoc and therapist keep reminding me of how important a strict schedule is for those of us with BP and not just for appointments but also in our everyday life.  I have a hard time keeping a good sleep schedule but I keep trying. Thanks for listening and letting me share, Gramma

Thank you for joining us. Bonnie

Response:

Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar.

Welcome Gramma!  This is certainly the place for you if you are looking for others that understand.  That is one of the best things about this group to me, plue the fact that there are some really great people here. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel.

Unless your pdoc has BP I don’t think they could possibly *really* understand.  I think it helps if you have one you can relate to well and then stay with that same one so they can get to know you. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group.  – GrammaOfNine

It would be great for you to join us.  I hope we hear from you a lot more. Bonnie PS I’m Gramma of two and love it!  Nine is quite a group there! Congratulations!

Response:

My doctors are already anticipating that everything is going to work out to plan, so they have contacted collegues of theirs to get referrals. Makes the whole thing seem a little less scarey. But what if I get over there and I don’t have the same rapport with the new docs??? Life has been unbearable all these years, and I just couldn’t face the thought of going back to that again!!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – etched permanently into the ether: In fact, I have climbed out on a limb and have applied for a job in another state (where most of my kids live), and it looks like I have a good chance of getting it. I feel kind of guilty when I read how difficult it is for some of the group right now. I was terrified that this move was a manic thing that I wouldn’t be able to carry through on, but the pdoc says it is a good thing. Guess I gotta trust someone, cause I sure can’t trust myself. My pdoc and therapist have had me on a very strick schedule, therapy three times a week, and pdoc once a month for the last year. I panic if one of them is gone. It sure sounds like you have a good treatment program and a plan for the next few years of your life!  Be proud!  It isn’t easy for us to do that!  When you move, I hope your pdoc and therapist can recommend new docs for you–so the transition is as smooth as possible for you.  :) The key to continue working, IMO, is to reduce stress and keep that schedule! You GO Gramma! Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

permanently into the ether: In fact, I have climbed out on a limb and have applied for a job in another state (where most of my kids live), and it looks like I have a good chance of getting it. I feel kind of guilty when I read how difficult it is for some of the group right now. I was terrified that this move was a manic thing that I wouldn’t be able to carry through on, but the pdoc says it is a good thing. Guess I gotta trust someone, cause I sure can’t trust myself. My pdoc and therapist have had me on a very strick schedule, therapy three times a week, and pdoc once a month for the last year. I panic if one of them is gone.

It sure sounds like you have a good treatment program and a plan for the next few years of your life!  Be proud!  It isn’t easy for us to do that!  When you move, I hope your pdoc and therapist can recommend new docs for you–so the transition is as smooth as possible for you.  :) The key to continue working, IMO, is to reduce stress and keep that schedule! You GO Gramma! Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Thank you all for such a warm welcome! It has been a long time (if ever) since I felt totally accepted from people who actually knew that I had a problem. A little bio…..I have spent years having doctors tell me that I was crazy, had panic attacks, was not right with God (yep, a MD told me that), that it was all in my head, and that’s just to recite a few. It wasn’t until a little over a year ago when I crashed big time that I went to a pdoc and was actually diagnosed. I don’t know if I am a I or a II. I am not all that versed in all the ramifications of it, but I know that it is complicated by the fact that I had thyroid cancer (complete thyroidectomy in 1980) and lymphatic cancer, so my meds to crazy at times. Synthroid just doesn’t do the same as the real thing. I then had cancer again in 1982, and sit scared of it every day now. I have managed to keep on working by playing a game of pretend. I know that the people that I am the closest with at work know that I have a "problem" and they have learned to walk gently when I am "not myself". But I do a good job and they are willing to forgive my downfalls so far. I am terrified that I will some day go over the deep end and not be able to get back, so I am a fanatic about taking my meds. I am on Lyvoxyl, prozac, trileptal, zantac, propronolol (for tremor side effects), and trazadone for sleep. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t sound like much compared to some of what I have read here, but I am grateful that I can still function. In fact, I have climbed out on a limb and have applied for a job in another state (where most of my kids live), and it looks like I have a good chance of getting it. I feel kind of guilty when I read how difficult it is for some of the group right now. I was terrified that this move was a manic thing that I wouldn’t be able to carry through on, but the pdoc says it is a good thing. Guess I gotta trust someone, cause I sure can’t trust myself. My pdoc and therapist have had me on a very strick schedule, therapy three times a week, and pdoc once a month for the last year. I panic if one of them is gone. Thanks for listening and letting me share, Gramma

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – etched permanently into the ether: Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group. Welcome Gramma! Glad to see new faces around here all the time!  Post what you want–just protect your identity–this is a public place.  We have an understanding that most professionals do not have–but we are not a substitute for medical attention! I look forward to getting to know you better! Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

We welcome you with open arms.  It’s a good group of people here with a lot of different points to share.  We’ve all been in the trenches and have our war wounds.  Keep posting. colleen

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group. — GrammaOfNine

Response:

permanently into the ether: Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group.

Welcome Gramma! Glad to see new faces around here all the time!  Post what you want–just protect your identity–this is a public place.  We have an understanding that most professionals do not have–but we are not a substitute for medical attention! I look forward to getting to know you better! Nancy administrator/creator/moderator alt.med.fibromyalgia.recovery.info (moderated) alt.support.depression.manic.moderated to email me from news groups, just remove the Z.

Response:

Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group. — GrammaOfNine

Response:

Hi, I have been reading through the posts here for the last several days, and feel like I have found a home. I had almost given up hope that I could find anyone who could really understand what I am going through being Bi-Polar. Even now, after over a year, it is a foreign diagnosis to me, although I have lived with it for most of my 56+ years. I have been in therapy and have been seeing a pdoc for the last year, but I have always had the feeling that they only understand what is going on because of what they have read and heard, not what they really know and feel. There is so much I would like to share about myself, because I really feel that I will be understood. I will try not to be a bore, if I can just join the group.

Welcome to the group.Its better to talk with people that have bipolar because doctors only understand what they are taught and read.There is a great book written by a psychiatrist that has bipolar called " An Unquiet Mind". Not sure if quiet is spelled write i have problems with that word. Haha!

Response: