Talk Cancer

Question:

Of course.  Welcome back.  Was wondering what happened to you.  Thanks for the very detailed coverage of what has been happening.  Sounds like you have your hands very full.  Best of luck and do take care. Jim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Susan Reed wrote: > Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve

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Response:

Hi Susan— Been wondering where you have been, missed your e-mails. My sister has the same almost exact problems with her daughter for the past 23 years. It can tear you apart inside and keep you so confused that you wonder if anything you do is correctly thought out. DON’T lose your self-confidence along the way with "what if" or "what if I had done" or "am I thinking right?". Other people depend on you, and it is more than tough, but hold together not only for them but for yourself. Sometimes you just have to let go of someone, sob your heart out, and as the years pass, it slowly heals. Now and then something will bring it back full force, but each time it takes less time to get over it.     Yes, we have family problems too, with a brainwashed daughter and a brainwashing husband. I won’t go into it, too emotional, but I think everyone has a cross to bear somewhere. You are definitely not alone.     Try to go out and treat yourself to a movie and a big bannana split sundae.It gets you back in touch with the world, you will at least temporarily feel better, Even that is a rest. It helps keep your feet on the ground. Here’s a big box of chocolates for you–pounds of chocolates– #########################      Enjoy-Live life for YOU—– – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Susan Reed wrote: > Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve > visited the newsgroup. I’ve had two computer crashes and welcomed my > mentally ill daughter back from her 6 month hospital stay. Unfortunately she > has kept me going ever since. She did not waste any time abusing her > siblings. In the short 2 months she has been home she has been suspended > from school, hit, slapped, threatened, drank alcohol, broke curfew, behaved > promiscuously, spent her tax money carelessly, refused to take her meds, > refused to see her therapist, tried to break doors down, etc…ect. I think > you all get the picture. She turned 18 just before being released from the > hospital so I cannot do anything. I don’t even have the right to tell her to > leave even when she is behaving in a threatening manner. I have to give her > 30 DAYS! Talk about a lack of rights for victims! And there are two victims > here, my family and my daughter. She obviously is not emotionally ready to > handle adult life but somehow 18 is a magic number. I have had to file a > protective order today that will, in effect, keep her away from her family. > This is a sad day but one I must endure. The only positive is that I am able > to handle this extreme stress without running to the bathroom, a prisoner of > pain and porcelain. At least in this strange way I feel normal. A normal > person with life’s stresses. Others may not understand but those with > Inflammatory Bowel Disease certainly do!! Thanks for letting me vent. Now on > to reading and catching up. Do let me know if I’ve missed anything since > April. > Trying to smile, > Susan R. > Manassas, Va

Response:

Hi Susan, I have been wondering what has happened to you.  Your level-headed comments were missed. Sorry about your circumstances, but sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do to protect ourselves and the ones we love.  While my experiences with my step children were never as bad as yours, I had to make at the time what seemed to be a harsh decision.  It took almost 2 years but the results were worth it. The hardest thing for me to learn was to separate what was my problem and what was not.  It is so easy to assume everything as ours when in reality it is not.  This was a courageous decision and for the best and I wish you good luck! Here is a big hug  {{{{{{{{{{SUSAN}}}}}}}}}} Joe Susan Reed wrote in message <7kp79i$ep…@autumn.news.rcn.net>… >Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve >visited the newsgroup. I’ve had two computer crashes and welcomed my >mentally ill daughter back from her 6 month hospital stay. Unfortunately she >has kept me going ever since. She did not waste any time abusing her

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Response:

Hi Susan, WELCOME BACK!!!  ( :>) I know what it’s like to file a restraining order against your own child. My husband and I had to do that also when one of our children turned 18. He’s border-line psychotic, not on meds and LOVES to steal, especially cars (including ours 4 times!) and the gas it takes to run them. He’s now 26 and been in jail (both in Pennsylvania and NJ) more time than out since the age of 18. And yes, we have had him arrested more than once. He’s still in jail but (he) hopes to get out this winter. Something we’re not looking forward to. He does know he can’t come within 100 yards or so of the house or risks the chance of being arrested. We do see him, but on our terms. And are in the process of discovering disturbing information about he and his younger (by 23 months) sister. So, I TRULY understand and wish you all the best. I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed reading your imput to the group. And I very glad you’re able to cope with the entire situation, as tough as it is. If you wish, you can e-mail me directly for any suppport you want.Sometimes it helps to know there are "others" out there in similar situations to yours. Oh, when Jon found out I had emergency ileostomy surgery to years ago, his response was, "I wondered why she didn’t bring me the money she promised." Take care, Ann (I) Life is a trip you don’t pack for.

Response:

Susan, I don’t think that I have had the pleasure of reading any of your posts in the past.  Not that I remember anyway.  I just wanted to write you a short note to say that I am sorry to hear about your troubles.  You and your family will be in my prayers. Dawn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Susan Reed wrote: > Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve > visited the newsgroup. I’ve had two computer crashes and welcomed my > mentally ill daughter back from her 6 month hospital stay. Unfortunately she > has kept me going ever since. She did not waste any time abusing her > siblings. In the short 2 months she has been home she has been suspended > from school, hit, slapped, threatened, drank alcohol, broke curfew, behaved > promiscuously, spent her tax money carelessly, refused to take her meds, > refused to see her therapist, tried to break doors down, etc…ect. I think > you all get the picture. She turned 18 just before being released from the > hospital so I cannot do anything. I don’t even have the right to tell her to > leave even when she is behaving in a threatening manner. I have to give her > 30 DAYS! Talk about a lack of rights for victims! And there are two victims > here, my family and my daughter. She obviously is not emotionally ready to > handle adult life but somehow 18 is a magic number. I have had to file a > protective order today that will, in effect, keep her away from her family. > This is a sad day but one I must endure. The only positive is that I am able > to handle this extreme stress without running to the bathroom, a prisoner of > pain and porcelain. At least in this strange way I feel normal. A normal > person with life’s stresses. Others may not understand but those with > Inflammatory Bowel Disease certainly do!! Thanks for letting me vent. Now on > to reading and catching up. Do let me know if I’ve missed anything since > April. > Trying to smile, > Susan R. > Manassas, Va

Response:

Dear Susan, That is not true that someone has to put up with threatening behavior from anyone and have to give them 30 days to move!  You can call the police when an incident has occurred and file an "Emergency restraining order" and the police/sheriff will remove the offender from the house immediately.  They will be escorted by a law officer to retrieve their belongings. David – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Royg wrote in message <3776259F.192E6…@interaccess.com>… >Hi Susan— >Been wondering where you have been, missed your e-mails. >My sister has the same almost exact problems with her daughter for the past 23 >years. It can tear you apart inside and keep you so confused that you wonder if >anything you do is correctly thought out. DON’T lose your self-confidence along >the way with "what if" or "what if I had done" or "am I thinking right?". >Other people depend on you, and it is more than tough, but hold together not >only for them but for yourself. Sometimes you just have to let go of someone, >sob your heart out, and as the years pass, it slowly heals. Now and then >something will bring it back full force, but each time it takes less time to get >over it. >    Yes, we have family problems too, with a brainwashed daughter and a >brainwashing husband. I won’t go into it, too emotional, but I think everyone >has a cross to bear somewhere. You are definitely not alone. >    Try to go out and treat yourself to a movie and a big bannana split >sundae.It gets you back in touch with the world, you will at least temporarily >feel better, Even that is a rest. It helps keep your feet on the ground. >Here’s a big box of chocolates for you–pounds of chocolates– >#########################      Enjoy-Live life for YOU—– >Susan Reed wrote: >> Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve >> visited the newsgroup. I’ve had two computer crashes and welcomed my >> mentally ill daughter back from her 6 month hospital stay. Unfortunately she >> has kept me going ever since. She did not waste any time abusing her >> siblings. In the short 2 months she has been home she has been suspended >> from school, hit, slapped, threatened, drank alcohol, broke curfew, behaved >> promiscuously, spent her tax money carelessly, refused to take her meds, >> refused to see her therapist, tried to break doors down, etc…ect. I think >> you all get the picture. She turned 18 just before being released from the >> hospital so I cannot do anything. I don’t even have the right to tell her to >> leave even when she is behaving in a threatening manner. I have to give her >> 30 DAYS! Talk about a lack of rights for victims! And there are two victims >> here, my family and my daughter. She obviously is not emotionally ready to >> handle adult life but somehow 18 is a magic number. I have had to file a >> protective order today that will, in effect, keep her away from her family. >> This is a sad day but one I must endure. The only positive is that I am able >> to handle this extreme stress without running to the bathroom, a prisoner of >> pain and porcelain. At least in this strange way I feel normal. A normal >> person with life’s stresses. Others may not understand but those with >> Inflammatory Bowel Disease certainly do!! Thanks for letting me vent. Now on >> to reading and catching up. Do let me know if I’ve missed anything since >> April. >> Trying to smile, >> Susan R. >> Manassas, Va

Response:

Hi everyone I hope you all remember me. It seems like forever since I’ve visited the newsgroup. I’ve had two computer crashes and welcomed my mentally ill daughter back from her 6 month hospital stay. Unfortunately she has kept me going ever since. She did not waste any time abusing her siblings. In the short 2 months she has been home she has been suspended from school, hit, slapped, threatened, drank alcohol, broke curfew, behaved promiscuously, spent her tax money carelessly, refused to take her meds, refused to see her therapist, tried to break doors down, etc…ect. I think you all get the picture. She turned 18 just before being released from the hospital so I cannot do anything. I don’t even have the right to tell her to leave even when she is behaving in a threatening manner. I have to give her 30 DAYS! Talk about a lack of rights for victims! And there are two victims here, my family and my daughter. She obviously is not emotionally ready to handle adult life but somehow 18 is a magic number. I have had to file a protective order today that will, in effect, keep her away from her family. This is a sad day but one I must endure. The only positive is that I am able to handle this extreme stress without running to the bathroom, a prisoner of pain and porcelain. At least in this strange way I feel normal. A normal person with life’s stresses. Others may not understand but those with Inflammatory Bowel Disease certainly do!! Thanks for letting me vent. Now on to reading and catching up. Do let me know if I’ve missed anything since April. Trying to smile, Susan R. Manassas, Va

Response:

Your cup runneth over.  I am new here – colo-rectal cancer.  Diagnosed, clipped and snipped within a week last April.  Great that you feel comfortabel venting here.  Being new, I have been reading a lot and being miserable in private. Cheers!

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