Talk Cancer

Question:

Hi, I may be stretching the "so who cares?" factor, but here goes. I posted about a year ago on my debates regarding whether getting married was worth bothering with, especially the second time around. I got some food for thought, particularly on the legal aspects. I thought my common-law partner was completely terrified of the whole idea, whereas I was not. We are both divorced (or he is now as of Jan. 10; he was not then.) I know I agonized a lot over this question. A few months ago I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer. After that I decided that getting married was maybe NOT such a big deal. After all, I have a great guy, what’s to feel sorry for myself for in that regard? Cancer kind of puts things in perspective. I don’t know if my being sick was the catalyst entirely or not, but last month on my 40th birthday, at a work Xmas party (we both work at the same place) he proposed to me in front of everyone. I accepted. It was terrific. It sort of goes to the idea that if you want something, you have to "let it go" in order for it to happen. We’re getting married in July. He says this plan had been in the works for some time (before illness), and his only question was "when and where" to ask. When I got sick he wondered whether to put it off until my chemo was done, or speed things up. He decided finally that there’s no time like the present. It sure cheered me up to no end. We both have wills now, and a contract that addresses our living arrangments (who owns what percentage of our home)and other assets. So it’s not all dresses and flowers, we *have* formalized things legally. Anyway I know I only post here infrequently, but I think that despite the unpleasant illness, the whole thing feels like a big happy ending to me, so I wanted to share a bit. Thank you. Susan

Response:

"Susan" <susant…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:c4a343a7.0501041238.42a9e4b9@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi, > I may be stretching the "so who cares?" factor, but here goes. I > posted about a year ago on my debates regarding whether getting > married was worth bothering with, especially the second time around. I > got some food for thought, particularly on the legal aspects. I > thought my common-law partner was completely terrified of the whole > idea, whereas I was not. We are both divorced (or he is now as of Jan. > 10; he was not then.) I know I agonized a lot over this question. > A few months ago I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer. After > that I decided that getting married was maybe NOT such a big deal. > After all, I have a great guy, what’s to feel sorry for myself for in > that regard? Cancer kind of puts things in perspective. I don’t know > if my being sick was the catalyst entirely or not, but last month on > my 40th birthday, at a work Xmas party (we both work at the same > place) he proposed to me in front of everyone. I accepted. It was > terrific. It sort of goes to the idea that if you want something, you > have to "let it go" in order for it to happen. We’re getting married > in July. > He says this plan had been in the works for some time (before > illness), and his only question was "when and where" to ask. When I > got sick he wondered whether to put it off until my chemo was done, or > speed things up. He decided finally that there’s no time like the > present. It sure cheered me up to no end. > We both have wills now, and a contract that addresses our living > arrangments (who owns what percentage of our home)and other assets. So > it’s not all dresses and flowers, we *have* formalized things legally. > Anyway I know I only post here infrequently, but I think that despite > the unpleasant illness, the whole thing feels like a big happy ending > to me, so I wanted to share a bit. > Thank you. > Susan

Congratulations. I wish you the best for your future. I also wish you the best in your immediate future in the battle against cancer. I am throwing one up for you. S

Response:

"Susan" wrote:

<snip> > I don’t know > if my being sick was the catalyst entirely or not, but last month on > my 40th birthday, at a work Xmas party (we both work at the same > place) he proposed to me in front of everyone. I accepted.

I wish you *all the best* Susan.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Susan wrote: > Hi, > I may be stretching the "so who cares?" factor, but here goes. I > posted about a year ago on my debates regarding whether getting > married was worth bothering with, especially the second time around. I > got some food for thought, particularly on the legal aspects. I > thought my common-law partner was completely terrified of the whole > idea, whereas I was not. We are both divorced (or he is now as of Jan. > 10; he was not then.) I know I agonized a lot over this question. > A few months ago I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer. After > that I decided that getting married was maybe NOT such a big deal. > After all, I have a great guy, what’s to feel sorry for myself for in > that regard? Cancer kind of puts things in perspective. I don’t know > if my being sick was the catalyst entirely or not, but last month on > my 40th birthday, at a work Xmas party (we both work at the same > place) he proposed to me in front of everyone. I accepted. It was > terrific. It sort of goes to the idea that if you want something, you > have to "let it go" in order for it to happen. We’re getting married > in July. > He says this plan had been in the works for some time (before > illness), and his only question was "when and where" to ask. When I > got sick he wondered whether to put it off until my chemo was done, or > speed things up. He decided finally that there’s no time like the > present. It sure cheered me up to no end.

I’m glad, and I think his timing was excellent. I’m so sorry to hear of your illness, Susan, and wish you better health and much happiness for the future. Good luck, Tai

Response: