Talk Cancer

Question:

There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Response:

. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Chin up, Laurence!  The best news you can give us is the fact that you are NOT giving up on yourself.  You didn’t ‘blow’ six months….you’ve worked hard and hopefully you learned a thing or two from your slip. So don’t be down on yourself.  The fact that you’re right back at it proves  that you’re a winner.  Best wishes to ya, Laurence!! Sally MM+

Response:

Sorry to hear this Laurence. I tell myself and others, that when they get a craving to smoke, to look past that first 10 minutes of having a cigarette. When you write: "It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober." That’s exactly why I don’t smoke, and never will smoke again. Good for you for hopping back on the wagon. Good luck -G. 9m – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Response:

Hey Laurence.  Congratulations on being so quick to jump back onto the non smoking band wagon.  You didn’t blow your quit at all.  You simple took a break of about half a day from the same quit.  Half a day is nothing compared to six months.  Six months from now that half day will seem completely irrelavant. For now just approach it ODAT.  One Day at a Time.  Don’t smoke tomorrow and before you know it this morning will be a distant memory. No one gets lung cancer or other smoking related illnesses from smoking for half a day (or from 5 cigarettes).  They do however get sick from being a "smoker." You may have smoked 5 cigarettes but if you no longer continue to smoke you are not a "smoker." Or look at it this way – Is Laurence HOF (- 5 cigarettes) the same as Laurence Smoker No of course it isn’t.  Congratulations on your HOF (-5 cigarettes). Keep it up : ) Adrienne OF+8m – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Response:

Laurence, I understand what a challenge a quit can be when you’re battling depression and anxiety. I used cigarettes to put distance between me and those feelings for years. Forgive yourself for this slip. Having a couple of cigarettes doesn’t mean much in the overall scheme of things as long as you don’t re-habituate, and clearly you’ve discovered that they aren’t "working" for you anymore. I know you’ve said you’ve tried all the meds but experienced intolerable side effects; I’m assuming you mean those in the anti-depressant family. I hope you’ve been able to communicate clearly with your health care provider. If you aren’t happy with the results you’ve had so far, check with your doctor again or find one who is willing to work with you until you get the results you need. Sometimes additional medications can be used to enhance the efficacy of a-ds and are worth a try. You may want to consider joining a local (or online) Nicotine Anonymous group, or seeking therapy, or reading and applying the concepts on the cognitive quitting pages (www.cognitivequitting.com) or all three. Discharging some of the emotional energy in a support group can be very helpful and may work to alleviate the depression. Please do what you need to do to take care of you, and let us know how you are. Carol OF wrote… There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for

me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of

anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler

about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two,

half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a

psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go

back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my

friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional

support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months.

Please be there for me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Thanks. Laurence

Response:

You smoked. You realized it sucks. You quit again. Almost right away. That was the best decision you could have made. I know quitting’s tough. I know that depression sucks. But I know that you CAN quit smoking. We are all here for you. Just tell us what you need. Hugs, Nicole SA #4  f3as3  Nine months, two weeks, three days, 4 hours, 45 minutes and 29 seconds. 10156 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,807.93. Time I can spend with my little one that I wouldn’t have if I were smoking: 5 weeks, 6 hours, 20 minutes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful… you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

Response:

Laurence, Sorry to hear about your slip.  I had one myself – two cigarettes.  After one week and three days.  It really pissed me off.  So I continue to not smoke with a stronger resolve.  Like you, the smokes didn’t do much for me.  I wonder what I expected?  Were they supposed to ease my frustration?  Well, they didn’t. You say the meds had side effects for you.  Have you tried gum.  I find that it works well for me.  When you fell like a smoke, relax, breath deeply and use the gum. Hang on Laurence. Bruce, one week, six days and 16 hours. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Response:

There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore…. . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Laurence, I wanted to offer some encouragement, but much of what I wanted to tell you has already been very eloquently said in the other responses. I would like to add something, though. Last year, I smoked about a half pack of cigarettes 3 months after quitting.  I realize now that I sabotaged my quit with guilt.  The biggest mistake was not my smoking, but my reaction to it.  I let the guilt control me, and make me feel weak, and I gave up.  Please don’t feel defeated.  Those few cigs mean nothing in the big picture. good luck! Kat Cigarettes not smoked… 1049.2119 Life reclaimed (days)… 3.6431

Response:

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Response:

WE ARE THERE FOR YOU!!!   Don’t get too down on yourself for smoking.  It happens!  You obviously want to get back on the "no smoking" bandwagon or else you wouldn’t have posted.  I just want to say welcome back on the wagon…here grab my hand….I’ll help you up! Chris 2 weeks+ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s no easy way to say it . . . I smoked. I couldn’t take it anymore. Six months of fighting off the urges every day, was too much for me. I’ve tried all the meds and the side effects were terrible. The sense of anxiety, depression and deprivation were building up inside me like a boiler about to blow. Well, I smoked about 5 cigarettes. I threw out the last two, half smoked. It wasn’t what I expected it to be. In fact, it was like learning to smoke all over again. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no peace of mind that resulted from my smoking. I suppose if I force myself to smoke and learn all over again how to hold smoke in my lungs, then there might be a psychological result, but right now there is no benefit. I’ve decided to go back to being smober. I haven’t had a cigarette since this morning. I told my friend, but he wasn’t very helpful. He’s a relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Response:

relapsed smoker. I need emotional support right now . . . I’m feeling down on myself for having blown 6 months. Please be there for me. Thanks. Laurence

Laurence, don’t be too down on yourself. Most of us quit more than once. If anything, you proved to yourself that you are NOT physically addicted at all. Hang in there and post, read, and post some more. David N. Wunner

Response:

Hi Laurence, I know this feeling well, you haven’t lost your six months you’ve learned so much about quitting and yourself. Don’t beat yourself up as it won’t help your situation one little bit. You need to be talking to a professional about your feelings <which I’m sure you are to get the best advice and care for you. The most important thing right now is *you* and we’re all here for you whatever you need just shout ok. Many of us realise after a slip that all it does is reinforce our resolve to be smokefree. I know when I’ve smoked I’ve never got the gratification I thought I would. Please Laurence, feel good about you and don’t be down on yourself for this it won’t help you at all. ((((((((Laurance)))))))) hugs padders (