Talk Cancer

Question:

My dearest internet peeps, friends and strangers that are owned by cats (heh…  now THAT covers everyone)… My mom had a CAT(heh)scan done this past Thursday.  The results will be read to her tomorrow (while my dear father holds her hand).  In 2002, Mom was diagnosed w/uterine cancer.  She fought it (radiation) and beat it!!  We (Mom, Dad, Joe-Hubby and moi) celebrated by going to Hawaii in early 2003. In mid 2004, Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.  The uterine cancer had metastized to her lungs.  She began hard-core chemo in Oct., 2004.  This has been very, very, VERY hard on me.  Mom is my best friend in the whole world. (I’m 42, she’s 69).  Anyway, Mom beat the ‘rap’ in Jan. of this year.  For me, I was fighting my own demons after being diagnosed with the lovely FMS. Pain pills became my best friend.  Then they became Chicklets.  I started popping them in amounts that were very dangerous for me.  By March of this year, I couldn’t walk, get to the bathroom or eat because I was high on pills.  I was dying.  Mom was better, but I was SO sick from my addiction. Then (in March), Joe, my therapist, my inlaws and my own folks came to my I beat it too.  For three weeks, I fought for my sanity and health, but life was out there, and so was my mom.  I got out in April.  By May, I was settled and happy again.  May came all to quickly tho’, as did the next test for Mom to confirm her remission…  only…  it wasn’t confirmed…  it was ‘denied’ instead.  The cancer was back.  Chemo was suggested, but Mom said no.  So, an "oral" chemo was suggested to which she agreed. Tomorrow will be a stand still until I get the call regarding my best friend’s fate…  aka: Mom.  IF the cancer is growing, I don’t know if Mom will allow chemo (real chemo) again.  IF she denies it, well…  everyone knows what lung cancer does. So please.  Purrs.  Prayers.  Meditation.  Barks.  Growls.  Kneeling down to the chicken bones and banana peels in the corner of your bedroom lit by candles.  Anything.  ANYTHING that will get through to your Higher Power to get through to mine.  Please, please, please…  let my Mom stay here with me.  Selfish?  Yeah…  you betcha.  I can’t stop loving her alive. I just can’t. —