Divorce settlement

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Question:

What’s next? His address, directions and an ass whoopin? Get real…if the person bothers you this much…turn your computer off…it will only kill you of stress in the long run… Wildman – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Right!, once again you still seem to not quite grasp the situation Firstly ‘Island’ let me thank-you for your intelligent reply. No problem. Always glad to help. She ‘owns’ (has a legal right) to half the property with her x-husband. When she lived with him she contributed to the mortgage. Let me get this straight. She lived with a man for a short while and contributed to his mortgage. Now she thinks she owns half his house? It is her x-husband!, and indeed it was a long while! They had a joint mortgage, she contributed to it! She has a legal right to half the house – this is not my opinion I’m expressing, this is the law! Is that about right? Maybe she sees the "contribution" she made as no more than rent? In that case, it’s *you* who wants half the house. It’s simply her legal right, understand now? Ah, legality above morality? I had you placed right from the beginning. Yes, legal right!. For her, not for me!!! You’re taking a great interest in her legal rights, what’s your angle? Try reading my original email again. I have been with her for over 5 years – we intend to get married next year. And this gives you the right to half of another man’s house? There are names for people like you. NO!. I don’t want half his/her house. But I’m bloody sure she does! (and yes, she actually said so, before you even suggets it’s for me) I don’t see that she should lose the right to what she is entitled too, just because she doesn’t ‘feel ready’ yet to sort it out.NOT for my benefit but for hers. Of *course* it’s not for your benefit. But, after five long years, you take an interest just before you marry her… Hmmm. How do you know I’ve not taken an interest before?. It’s simply that at this point of time, myself and her have discussed it. It was not possible before due to other circumstances which are not worth discussing with you. Again, you fail to grasp the simple logic. She obviously feels awkard/uneasy sorting it out. All I’m basically asking is if she doesn’t sort if out for (say) many years, is it possible she’ll lose her legal right to half the property. Did she pay for half the property? No? Then why do you feel she should get it? For that matter, why should you get it? You take a man’s wife away and now you want to take his house away. I took away his wife did I?, she didn’t leave him them?, or left due to physical abuse? You know all the intricate details and facts? You obviously don’t!, so don’t pass judgement on a situation you don’t understand. 3rd time lucky. READ THE ORIGINAL EMAIL and use your brain also. I have a life But it will be better when you get your hands on this man’s house, is that it? Again, it’s obvious you wish to provoke. Believe it or not, when YOU find someone (if ever) you’ll want the best for them too, and not to (potentially) be ripped off by some x-partner. Secondly I have a job, Poncing’s a job? Don’t know, you tell me? and supported her (financially and morally through her divorce) Yeah, I knew you were around before the divorce. Jesus!, you really are high and mighty aren’t you? Thirdly I own a house. Who paid for it? Or does your girlfriend "contribute" to the mortgage? Can you imagine how you’ll feel when she leaves you for someone else and wants your house? We paid for it jointly. And YES!, if we did ever split up, she WOULD BE entitled to half of the property. Island, it’s people like you that make the newsgroups a joy to use. Thank you. Always a pleasure. Feel free to ask for advice at any time. Your also, full of shit and of no importance to anyone. Indeed, why don’t you email me direct with your phone number? I can ring you up and we can discuss your ‘understanding’ of the situation, I’d like that very much. Surely, you’d be willing to do that, such a helpful guy like

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I recently read a piece by Author Elizabeth Ross about the Stages of Grief. They are: Denial Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I think I understand all these except "Bargaining". Can anyone out there help me with a Definition or Explanation of what Bargaining is ? Please respond in this Alt. Group or directly to me by e-mail.

Oh God, If you xxx, I promise I’ll yyy – just let zzzz to happen etc etc etc that is the best know example..

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Bargaining….meaning by my own experience with the death of my son…"Please God, give me my son back and I will go to church every Sunday." "Please God, I promise never to swear again if you bring my son back." or in case of divorce "Please God, if you help my marriage, I’ll do the dishes more often." Some (me included) even try to bargain with Satan himself. Believe me, it doesn’t work! Daisy Never make love on an empty stomach. Feed him first. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I recently read a piece by Author Elizabeth Ross about the Stages of Grief. They are: Denial Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I think I understand all these except "Bargaining". Can anyone out there help me with a Definition or Explanation of what Bargaining is ? Please respond in this Alt. Group or directly to me by e-mail. Oh God, If you xxx, I promise I’ll yyy – just let zzzz to happen etc etc etc that is the best know example..

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<snippety-snip-snip Well, Mark: you and Island certainly hit it off. You didn’t used to be married, did you….? I am intrigued by this argument, since, invective aside, you keep goping back to a simple legal assertion which I would have thought was questionable: to wit, that your wife ‘owns half the property’. Now, it is possible my newsreader is playing up and I haven’t seen some of the more erudite contributions from m’learned friends. Alternatively, they may be staying out of it, which would be a shame, because my curiosity is piqued. My basic understanding – possibly erroneous – is that the lady-in- question’s interest in the property would be approx. half of the equity up to the time of the divorce, as modified by any agreement made under a Consent Order (or other such Order thru the Courts). If, for some reason, she continued to contribute to the mortgage after a Final Order had been made….then she would have bolstered her rights to half of the equity (not half of the property since, I guess, the lender might have something to say about that). And what she is entitled to in general may have been augmented or diminished as a result of the divorce settlement. So, you do state – several times – that she is entitled to half the property….but I would be interested to know a) whether this holds generally in Law and b) whether you have checked out all the avenues so as to be quite so certain in your particular case.

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In the context of divorce, that’s where you go to court and get relieved of your children, everything you own, and most of your income. HTH, -T.

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JLT_FTW said… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Denial: "This isn’t happening to me. This is just a phase she is going through." Anger: "The bitch! Well, fuck her, the horse she rode in on and the guy who sold it to her." Bargaining: "I will give you the remote control and hold your purse while you try on dresses if you won’t move out and divorce me. Tell me what you want and I will do it." Depression: "No one will ever love me again. I have never felt so alone. Where are the sleeping pills?" Acceptance: "Hi, my name is Dave and I am divorced." "Hi, Dave!" Ever see someone move through the stages that quick? "I am the very model of a modern mental general." -Dave Very good Dave – I’ve never seen these stages explained so perfectly with so few words! Janie

I thank you, my counselor thanks you, my parents thank you, my friends thank you. My stbx — well, that’s a story for a different post. -Dave

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Thanks to All for your great and helpful responses to my Bargaining question. I think I’ve got the answer now. Or as some have suggested "richard, now you understand the bigger question". Thanks for the help. Richard

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Denial: "This isn’t happening to me. This is just a phase she is going through." Anger: "The bitch! Well, fuck her, the horse she rode in on and the guy who sold it to her." Bargaining: "I will give you the remote control and hold your purse while you try on dresses if you won’t move out and divorce me. Tell me what you want and I will do it." Depression: "No one will ever love me again. I have never felt so alone. Where are the sleeping pills?" Acceptance: "Hi, my name is Dave and I am divorced." "Hi, Dave!" Ever see someone move through the stages that quick? "I am the very model of a modern mental general." -Dave

Very good Dave – I’ve never seen these stages explained so perfectly with so few words! Janie — Many things are opened by mistake, but none so frequently as the mouth.

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Hey Victoria, welcome back!! I’ve missed you! Daisy What kind of bees make milk? Boobies

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -x-no-archive: yes I recently read a piece by Author Elizabeth Ross about the Stages of Grief. They are: Denial Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I think I understand all these except "Bargaining". Can anyone out there help me with a Definition or Explanation of what Bargaining is ? Please respond in this Alt. Group or directly to me by e-mail. Thanks, Kubler-Ross was one of the first to study the issues of death and dying and she focused on the relatively short term situation in which death becomes an immediate possibility. The bargaining stage looks for ways to buy time, making promises and negotiating with God, doctors, nurses, or others for more time or relief from pain and suffering. When the bargaining fails or time runs out, hopelessness and depression can take its place. These stages that Kubler-Ross describes are common reactions to approaching death but they are not absolute. Not all people go through the stages, and few go through them in any particular order. Many factors influence a person’s reactions, including culture, religion, personality, philosophy about life, and the nature of the disease itself. Also, people may go through a stage more than once. Victoria "Lee" Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship.

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Having experienced all of these myself with my father who died horribly of lung cancer. Bargaining are things like praying when they have never prayed before"I promise that I’ll stop smoking from now on, god please, let me kick this thing…give me another chance" Going to church when they have never gone before etc or whatever the person thinks/feels they can negotiate with at that time. Its a hard one because the next step is usually depression…… — "then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took t

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Kubler-Ross was one of the first to study the issues of death and dying and she focused on the relatively short term situation in which death becomes an immediate possibility. The bargaining stage looks for ways to buy time, making promises and negotiating with God, doctors, nurses, or others for more time or relief from pain and suffering. When the bargaining fails or time runs out, hopelessness and depression can take its place. These stages that Kubler-Ross describes are common reactions to approaching death but they are not absolute. Not all people go through the stages, and few go through them in any particular order. Many factors influence a person’s reactions, including culture, religion, personality, philosophy about life, and the nature of the disease itself.

Response:

Richard Locke said… I recently read a piece by Author Elizabeth Ross about the Stages of Grief. They are: Denial Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I think I understand all these except "Bargaining". Can anyone out there help me with a Definition or Explanation of what Bargaining is ? Please respond in this Alt. Group or directly to me by e-mail. Thanks, Richard

Denial: "This isn’t happening to me. This is just a phase she is going through." Anger: "The bitch! Well, fuck her, the horse she rode in on and the guy who sold it to her." Bargaining: "I will give you the remote control and hold your purse while you try on dresses if you won’t move out and divorce me. Tell me what you want and I will do it." Depression: "No one will ever love me again. I have never felt so alone. Where are the sleeping pills?" Acceptance: "Hi, my name is Dave and I am divorced." "Hi, Dave!" Ever see someone move through the stages that quick? "I am the very model of a modern mental general." -Dave

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This is my final public reply to you Island, though I would like to thank the others for replying properly and not passing judgement. Again I shall address each major point. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Let me get this straight. She lived with a man for a short while and contributed to his mortgage. Now she thinks she owns half his house? It is her x-husband!, and indeed it was a long while! They had a joint mortgage, she contributed to it! She has a legal right to half the house – this is not my opinion I’m expressing, this is the law! She has a legal right to half the house although she only paid a small fraction of its worth and had the benefit of living there at the time? Does this seem fair to you? It’s simply her legal right, understand now? Ah, legality above morality? I had you placed right from the beginning. Yes, legal right!. For her, not for me!!! Not for you? Hmm… We’ll talk about that later.

She did not pay a fraction of the mortgage. Her & her ex bought it together when first married. And this gives you the right to half of another man’s house? There are names for people like you. NO!. I don’t want half his/her house. But I’m bloody sure she does! (and yes, she actually said so, before you even suggets it’s for me) I seem to remember you saying she was: reluctant to sort out the property with her x-husband – no I don’t know why either!!! Do you deny that?

No, that is true. She obviously feels uncomfortable and uneasy about dealing with her ex-husband. There is no other reason. Of *course* it’s not for your benefit. But, after five long years, you take an interest just before you marry her… Hmmm. How do you know I’ve not taken an interest before?. It’s simply that at this point of time, myself and her have discussed it. Did you also discuss renting it out to students?

She discussed it with her ex, yes. But she doesn’t really want to have some kind of business arrangement with him!. <understandable A few days ago you said in uk.finance, alt.business.property and uk.business.accountancy: I intend to purchase another property in the UK and rent it out to students. Now it is obvious which property you have in mind.

Yes, we have now BOUGHT another property for rental purposes, and NO it is not her ex’s house. I have no interest in it as I keep telling you! It was not possible before due to other circumstances which are not worth discussing with you. Got a loan from HFS, did you? I remember you discussing this.

Might of, might not!. So what!!? I took away his wife did I?, she didn’t leave him them?, or left due to physical abuse? Are you accusing her ex-husband of physical abuse? Be very careful how you answer that.

I’m not accusing him of anything, I’m simply trying to indicate that you are not aware of the situation in which she left, and therefore cannot judge. You know all the intricate details and facts? It’s all very clear.

No, your just obessed with twisting facts (or adding your own) to persue some personal quest you seem to be on. Believe it or not, when YOU find someone (if ever) you’ll want the best for them too, and not to (potentially) be ripped off by some x-partner. Now you appear to be accusing this gentleman, whom you wish to evict from his home, of being a thief.

Again, twist away. I’m sure the more intelligent people of the newsgroup will understanding what I am trying to say. Thirdly I own a house. Who paid for it? We paid for it jointly. And YES!, if we did ever split up, she WOULD BE entitled to half of the property. So you own *half* a house. It’s always wise to be sure of these things. Why did you claim to own it all?

What are you on about?. We have a joint mortgage, so we jointly own the house. Having persuaded a woman to pay for half of your house (you called it *your* house), you now want control of her other property interests. Do you see yourself as a property tycoon, amassing a fortune from the property of others which you will let out to third parties?

Again, your off into fairy world. Notice how the other replies (one from a solicitor) keep to the facts and don’t make judgements/assumptions like your doing. Your also, full of shit and of no importance to anyone. Indeed, why don’t you email me direct with your phone number? I can ring you up and we can discuss your ‘understanding’ of the situation, I’d like that very much. Your true nature is coming out now. Would you also like to discuss why the last woman in your life left you?

Perhaps, you’d care to discuss your ex-partner. Because if you twist and alter everything people say then surely no-one could put up with you for long. Exactly what is your problem?? <apart from the obvious

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What’s next? His address, directions and an ass whoopin? Get real…if the person bothers you this much…turn your computer off…it will only kill you of stress in the long run…

I agree! Sounds to me like they may know eachother..hmmmm! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wildman Right!, once again you still seem to not quite grasp the situation Firstly ‘Island’ let me thank-you for your intelligent reply. No problem. Always glad to help. She ‘owns’ (has a legal right) to half the property with her x-husband. When she lived with him she contributed to the mortgage. Let me get this straight. She lived with a man for a short while and contributed to his mortgage. Now she thinks she owns half his house? It is her x-husband!, and indeed it was a long while! They had a joint mortgage, she contributed to it! She has a legal right to half the house – this is not my opinion I’m expressing, this is the law! Is that about right? Maybe she sees the "contribution" she made as no more than rent? In that case, it’s *you* who wants half the house. It’s simply her legal right, understand now? Ah, legality above morality? I had you placed right from the beginning. Yes, legal right!. For her, not for me!!! You’re taking a great interest in her legal rights, what’s your angle? Try reading my original email again. I have been with her for over 5 years – we intend to get married next year. And this gives you the right to half of another man’s house? There are names for people like you. NO!. I don’t want half his/her house. But I’m bloody sure she does! (and yes, she actually said so, before you even suggets it’s for me) I don’t see that she should lose the right to what she is entitled too, just because she doesn’t ‘feel ready’ yet to sort it out.NOT for my benefit but for hers. Of *course* it’s not for your benefit. But, after five long years, you take an interest just before you marry her… Hmmm. How do you know I’ve not taken an interest before?. It’s simply that at this point of time, myself and her have discussed it. It was not possible before due to other circumstances which are not worth discussing with you. Again, you fail to grasp the simple logic. She obviously feels awkard/uneasy sorting it out. All I’m basically asking is if she doesn’t sort if out for (say) many years, is it possible she’ll lose her legal right to half the property. Did she pay for half the property? No? Then why do you feel she should get it? For that matter, why should you get it? You take a man’s wife away and now you want to take his house away. I took away his wife did I?, she didn’t leave him them?, or left due to physical abuse? You know all the intricate details and facts? You obviously don’t!, so don’t pass judgement on a situation you don’t understand. 3rd time lucky. READ THE ORIGINAL EMAIL and use your brain also. I have a life But it will be better when you get your hands on this man’s house, is that it? Again, it’s obvious you wish to provoke. Believe it or not, when YOU find someone (if ever) you’ll want the best for them too, and not to (potentially) be ripped off by some x-partner. Secondly I have a job, Poncing’s a job? Don’t know, you tell me? and supported her (financially and morally through her divorce) Yeah, I knew you were around before the divorce. Jesus!, you really are high and mighty aren’t you? Thirdly I own a house. Who paid for it? Or does your girlfriend "contribute" to the mortgage? Can you imagine how you’ll feel when she leaves you for someone else and wants your house? We paid for it jointly. And YES!, if we did ever split up, she WOULD BE entitled to half of the property. Island, it’s people like you that make the newsgroups a joy to use. Thank you. Always a pleasure. Feel free to ask for advice at any time. Your also, full of shit and of no importance to anyone. Indeed, why don’t you email me direct with your phone number? I can ring you up and we can discuss your ‘understanding’ of the situation, I’d like that very much. Surely, you’d be willing to do that, such a helpful guy like

Response:

Right!, once again you still seem to not quite grasp the situation Firstly ‘Island’ let me thank-you for your intelligent reply. No problem. Always glad to help. She ‘owns’ (has a legal right) to half the property with her x-husband. When she lived with him she contributed to the mortgage. Let me get this straight. She lived with a man for a short while and contributed to his mortgage. Now she thinks she owns half his house?

It is her x-husband!, and indeed it was a long while! They had a joint mortgage, she contributed to it! She has a legal right to half the house – this is not my opinion I’m expressing, this is the law! Is that about right? Maybe she sees the "contribution" she made as no more than rent? In that case, it’s *you* who wants half the house. It’s simply her legal right, understand now? Ah, legality above morality? I had you placed right from the beginning.

Yes, legal right!. For her, not for me!!! You’re taking a great interest in her legal rights, what’s your angle? Try reading my original email again. I have been with her for over 5 years – we intend to get married next year. And this gives you the right to half of another man’s house? There are names for people like you.

NO!. I don’t want half his/her house. But I’m bloody sure she does! (and yes, she actually said so, before you even suggets it’s for me) I don’t see that she should lose the right to what she is entitled too, just because she doesn’t ‘feel ready’ yet to sort it out.NOT for my benefit but for hers. Of *course* it’s not for your benefit. But, after five long years, you take an interest just before you marry her… Hmmm.

How do you know I’ve not taken an interest before?. It’s simply that at this point of time, myself and her have discussed it. It was not possible before due to other circumstances which are not worth discussing with you. Again, you fail to grasp the simple logic. She obviously feels awkard/uneasy sorting it out. All I’m basically asking is if she doesn’t sort if out for (say) many years, is it possible she’ll lose her legal right to half the property. Did she pay for half the property? No? Then why do you feel she should get it? For that matter, why should you get it? You take a man’s wife away and now you want to take his house away.

I took away his wife did I?, she didn’t leave him them?, or left due to physical abuse? You know all the intricate details and facts? You obviously don’t!, so don’t pass judgement on a situation you don’t understand. 3rd time lucky. READ THE ORIGINAL EMAIL and use your brain also. I have a life But it will be better when you get your hands on this man’s house, is that it?

Again, it’s obvious you wish to provoke. Believe it or not, when YOU find someone (if ever) you’ll want the best for them too, and not to (potentially) be ripped off by some x-partner. Secondly I have a job, Poncing’s a job?

Don’t know, you tell me? and supported her (financially and morally through her divorce) Yeah, I knew you were around before the divorce.

Jesus!, you really are high and mighty aren’t you? Thirdly I own a house. Who paid for it? Or does your girlfriend "contribute" to the mortgage? Can you imagine how you’ll feel when she leaves you for someone else and wants your house?

We paid for it jointly. And YES!, if we did ever split up, she WOULD BE entitled to half of the property. Island, it’s people like you that make the newsgroups a joy to use. Thank you. Always a pleasure. Feel free to ask for advice at any time.

Your also, full of shit and of no importance to anyone. Indeed, why don’t you email me direct with your phone number? I can ring you up and we can discuss your ‘understanding’ of the situation, I’d like that very much. Surely, you’d be willing to do that, such a helpful guy like

Response:

I think you need to understand the legality of her position before jumping in. Basically, my partner divorced her x-husband about 5 years ago. She still has a joint mortgage on a property with him. But you say below that she doesn’t contribute to the mortgage. Why is she using her ex-husband as an investment?

You could turn that around to ask why her ex- is using her as security for the mortgage. Under normal circumstances, if he finds himself unable to pay, the lender could pursue her for the full debt. Although it is joint, somehow he cancelled the endowment policy!! – surely this can’t be possible i.e. Whose life is on the endowment? Who was paying for the endowment? If the answer to either of these is her ex-husband, then why do you feel he can’t opt out?

Because she cops the lot if he kicks the bucket. I know her legal right is to force him to buy her out, or have the property sold and proceeds split. You’re taking a great interest in her legal rights, what’s your angle?

If her ex- kicks the bucket, she may be relying rather heavily on the poster to help bail her out. — Ian

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heheee…had to laugh Now, tell us how you really feel Island! :-)

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Firstly ‘Island’ let me thank-you for your intelligent reply. I shall address the main key points in turn, so that you might understand. My partner (who lives with me, with a joint mortgage) is reluctant to sort out the property with her x-husband – no I don’t know why either!!! Maybe she’s stopped being a parasite?

What?, a parasite?? She ‘owns’ (has a legal right) to half the property with her x-husband. When she lived with him she contributed to the mortgage. It’s simply her legal right, understand now? I know her legal right is to force him to buy her out, or have the property sold and proceeds split. You’re taking a great interest in her legal rights, what’s your angle?

Try reading my original email again. I have been with her for over 5 years – we intend to get married next year. I don’t see that she should lose the right to what she is entitled too, just because she doesn’t ‘feel ready’ yet to sort it out.NOT for my benefit but for hers. But I am beginning to wonder if she will lose any right to the property as time progresses and she no-longer resides there, or contributes to the mortgage. You mean you’re beginning to wonder if YOU will lose any chance of poncing some of her ex-husband’s property.

Again, you fail to grasp the simple logic. She obviously feels awkard/uneasy sorting it out. All I’m basically asking is if she doesn’t sort if out for (say) many years, is it possible she’ll lose her legal right to half the property. Any help/suggestions/advice much appreciated. Yeah, get a job, get a life and get your own fucking house. Stop leeching off other people, you arsewipe.

3rd time lucky. READ THE ORIGINAL EMAIL and use your brain also. I have a life (unlike yourself, who simply replies with pathetic insults because you have difficulty with basic language & logic) Secondly I have a job, and supported her (financially and morally through her divorce) Thirdly I own a house. Island, it’s people like you that make the newsgroups a joy to use. Basic understanding of the situation and sensible educated replies are obviously beyond your capability. This (believe it or not) is ‘uk.legal’, and I was asking a legal question, join ‘uk.tossers’ if you want to act in the matter you do so naturally. Again, I ask for someone who can explain any legal implications/problems with delaying a final settlement on the property – please don’t bother replying Island, it’s a waste of bandwidth. Hoping for an answer from a civilized human being with an IQ that’ll fit in more than a nybble. Mark

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