Talk Cancer

Question:

Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer and not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has spared no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I push aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she felt I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts and deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my heart for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at fault for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same man, I said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want to go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start with friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF answered she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung up, she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My ex told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding is off and they are over. I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. Funny part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. Erin

Response:

One step at a time, but today there is hope.  One thing I want you to always remember is if you had taken your own life so many months ago, this day would have never happened.  It would have been lost forever. I’m glad you’re still with us. brilliantly authored : – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer and not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has spared no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I push aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she felt I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts and deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my heart for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at fault for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same man, I said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want to go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start with friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF answered she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung up, she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My ex told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding is off and they are over. I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. Funny part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. Erin

– Victoria Lee Hirt Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Your life is the product of your past decisions.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer and not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has spared no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I push aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she felt I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts and deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my heart for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at fault for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same man, I said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want to go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start with friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF answered she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung up, she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My ex told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding is off and they are over.

Forgive me if i’m confusing you with another poster awhile back (i DO admit i get confused from time to time keeping up with everyone here!) but i think you had said you were dating someone who ended up going back to THEIR stbx and leaving you…  and you were really upset about that….  that may be how HIS "gf" now feels, but then maybe things turned around for you after all… I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. Funny part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. Erin

My sympathies to what you’re going thru with your mom…. Moms are special people whom we never want to lose…

Response:

Yes, that did happened to me and he had to do what was right for him and his family I am happy to say he is doing great, i am glad for him. I know that my ex, Brian’s gf is hurting and I am too, I am hoping some day she will be glad, for him to have hesitated it could have been disaterous in years to come. Yes, she blames me. If he truly loved her he would be with her….right? He has asked for his space…. I don’t know if it will work out between us or if i am simply reaching out for support since i am losing the most important person in my life. I do know that i told him, to do it for him not me, or the boys, and if he really loves his gf the go to her and don’t look back. i am generating my focus on my parents, there isn’t any other room right now. Erin

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer and not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has spared no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I push aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she felt I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts and deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my heart for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at fault for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same man, I said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want to go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start with friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF answered she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung up, she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My ex told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding is off and they are over. Forgive me if i’m confusing you with another poster awhile back (i DO admit i get confused from time to time keeping up with everyone here!) but i think you had said you were dating someone who ended up going back to THEIR stbx and leaving you…  and you were really upset about that….  that may be how HIS "gf" now feels, but then maybe things turned around for you after all… I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. Funny part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. Erin My sympathies to what you’re going thru with your mom…. Moms are special people whom we never want to lose…

Response:

. Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s??

Accckkkk!  Don’t tempt the Gods of Fate that way!  I learned long ago NEVER You have a hell of a time coming up, no doubt about it.  Try and stay focused on something, anything positive to help you. There are a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you the best. Greg

Response:

. Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s?? Accckkkk!  Don’t tempt the Gods of Fate that way!  I learned long ago NEVER

Boy are you right on that one.  Two days ago, I went to the car wash in my 5 month old car, and when I came out, I said outloud, to myself, gee 5 months old, and no door dings yet.  Three hours later I was at a stop light, and BOOM, rammed from behind, I was stopped, with the car in neutral, foot on the brake thank goodness, because he never even hit his brakes, and hit me going about 25/30 miles an hour.  Lucky for me I had my seat belt on, but boy am I SORE.  Bruised across the chest, and achy, but thankful that no one was seriously hurt.  So, I definitely won’t tempt fate like that again! Cal~ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You have a hell of a time coming up, no doubt about it.  Try and stay focused on something, anything positive to help you. There are a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you the best. Greg

Response:

Three hours later I was at a stop light, and | BOOM, rammed from behind, I was stopped, with the car in neutral, foot on | the brake thank goodness, because he never even hit his brakes, and hit me | going about 25/30 miles an hour.  Lucky for me I had my seat belt on, but | boy am I SORE.  Bruised across the chest, and achy, but thankful that no one | was seriously hurt.  So, I definitely won’t tempt fate like that again! | | Cal~ ooohh.. so sorry, Cal!! I can empathize:  I was once rear-ended on an interstate. I was at a dead stop in traffic, but the guy hit me full-on from behind at 60mph!  Resulted in a 4 car pileup. Thank God no one was killed. Anyway, even being hit at 25-30 mph can make you very sore. Take care! – ~*~*~ Vicki ~*~*~

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| | . | Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s?? | | Accckkkk!  Don’t tempt the Gods of Fate that way!  I learned long ago | NEVER | | Boy are you right on that one.  Two days ago, I went to the car wash in my 5 | month old car, and when I came out, I said outloud, to myself, gee 5 months | old, and no door dings yet. | | | | You have a hell of a time coming up, no doubt about it.  Try and stay | focused on something, anything positive to help you. | There are a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you the best. | | Greg | | | | | | | |

Response:

(  Oh, Erin. I’m so sorry for all you’re going through. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ~*~*~ Vicki ~*~*~

| gee do i sound like a fool, or have the "KICK ME" sign on my back??? yup I | think so. He now doesn’t know what he wants, except he needs me to keep the | boys so he can think an extra day. HELLO?????? I need to help my Dad prepare | to bring my Mom home to die and there isn’t anyone else here. So I have | decided to do what is priority and that is my Mom and Dad, and detatch | myself from the rest. I stood by his side when his Dad died and he promised | my Mom he would be here but he’s not, I can do it alone. | Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s?? | | Erin |

| Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer | and | not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has | spared | no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I | push | aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she | felt | I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts | and | deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. | Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my | heart | for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at | fault | for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same | man, I | said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want | to | go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start | with | friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. | | I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF | answered | she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung | up, | she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My | ex | told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding | is | off and they are over. | | I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. | Funny | part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. | | Erin | |

Response:

gee do i sound like a fool, or have the "KICK ME" sign on my back??? yup I think so. He now doesn’t know what he wants, except he needs me to keep the boys so he can think an extra day. HELLO?????? I need to help my Dad prepare to bring my Mom home to die and there isn’t anyone else here. So I have decided to do what is priority and that is my Mom and Dad, and detatch myself from the rest. I stood by his side when his Dad died and he promised my Mom he would be here but he’s not, I can do it alone. Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s?? Erin

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Many of you know my Mother was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer and not having been sick in the past. She is going quite quickly, so she has spared no time in saying what has been in her heart. One she wanted to know if I push aside all the pain did I still have feelings for the ex. She said that she felt I jumped to divorce too quickly. I said Mom you know I have had my doubts and deep down I do have feelings. She told me to go to him. Well, on Saturday we talked…. really talked. I told him what was in my heart for the first time. He had tears in his eyes. I told him I am eaqually at fault for losing site of what we had or could have. He said he is not the same man, I said good, I’m not the same. He said we can’t go back, I said I don’t want to go back, but wanted you to know what is in my heart. He said we can start with friendship, i thinkit is a great place to start. I called him last night because he wanted me to about Mom and his GF answered she said he’s not here. I said Thank you she said "BTW you won" and hung up, she called back to appologized and told me she was sorry about my Mom. My ex told her he has feelings for me and wants to go to counseling. The wedding is off and they are over. I am scared to death, but am willing to explore with a counsler with him. Funny part of it all….. my heart feels lighter. Erin

Response:

brilliantly authored : gee do i sound like a fool, or have the "KICK ME" sign on my back??? yup I think so. He now doesn’t know what he wants, except he needs me to keep the boys so he can think an extra day. HELLO?????? I need to help my Dad prepare to bring my Mom home to die and there isn’t anyone else here. So I have decided to do what is priority and that is my Mom and Dad, and detatch myself from the rest. I stood by his side when his Dad died and he promised my Mom he would be here but he’s not, I can do it alone. Am I angry????? HELL YES at life what’s next don’t things come in 3’s??

Erin, did you tell him you were angry and NEEDED him to watch the boys NOW?  Some people simply need that extra push to be there when you need them.  I realize it would be wonderful for it to magically happen, but some people really do need instructions. — Victoria Lee Hirt Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Your life is the product of your past decisions.

Response: