Talk Cancer

Question:

This weekend, I spent the day with my MIL.   Now you should know that she is very aware of my husband and my’s way of eating.  When we go to her house she trys to make sure that there are things we can eat.  She doesn’t fully understand all the details, but she trys.  This is a woman who is always pushing food on people, including us although she is also the first person to not-so-subtly hint that we really need to lose weight. So I was with her this weekend.  We were discussing places to eat dinner and I nixed on place b/c I knew there was nothing there I could eat.  There were others in the car who asked me a few questions about this way of eating. Anyway, about 10 minutes later, we stop at this sweet shop b/c they needed to pick some things up.  My feet hurt from a long day and I didn’t need the tempation so I stayed in the car.  They weren’t going to be long. Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she meant well, but PLEASE! The important thing is that I brought it home, let it sit on the counter ALL NIGHT without hearing it calling my name and then brought it to work the next day and gave it to one of my co-workers.  I’m proud of myself for not eating it, but I’m very frustrated by this.  My husband was upset that I didn’t give it back to her and maybe I should have, but I just didn’t feel it was worth making a big deal, but deep down it makes me angry. Add to it, that after a couple month period of on-again, off-again, I am now fully re-committed.  However, the first week on induction, I lost 2 pounds. Not bad right?  Well, without changing anything, I put them back on the next week.  After this third week, I took them off again.  THREE WEEKS  on induction and I’ve netted a loss of 2 measly pounds.  Very frustrating.  I’m not stopping, but it sure was part of my willpower in not eating the dessert. Thanks for ‘listening’, Piglet 180.5/178.5/140

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This weekend, I spent the day with my MIL.   Now you should know that she is very aware of my husband and my’s way of eating.  When we go to her house she trys to make sure that there are things we can eat.  She doesn’t fully understand all the details, but she trys.  This is a woman who is always pushing food on people, including us although she is also the first person to not-so-subtly hint that we really need to lose weight. So I was with her this weekend.  We were discussing places to eat dinner and I nixed on place b/c I knew there was nothing there I could eat.  There were others in the car who asked me a few questions about this way of eating. Anyway, about 10 minutes later, we stop at this sweet shop b/c they needed to pick some things up.  My feet hurt from a long day and I didn’t need the tempation so I stayed in the car.  They weren’t going to be long. Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she meant well, but PLEASE! The important thing is that I brought it home, let it sit on the counter ALL NIGHT without hearing it calling my name and then brought it to work the next day and gave it to one of my co-workers.  I’m proud of myself for not eating it, but I’m very frustrated by this.  My husband was upset that I didn’t give it back to her and maybe I should have, but I just didn’t feel it was worth making a big deal, but deep down it makes me angry. Add to it, that after a couple month period of on-again, off-again, I am now fully re-committed.  However, the first week on induction, I lost 2 pounds. Not bad right?  Well, without changing anything, I put them back on the next week.  After this third week, I took them off again.  THREE WEEKS  on induction and I’ve netted a loss of 2 measly pounds.  Very frustrating.  I’m not stopping, but it sure was part of my willpower in not eating the dessert. Thanks for ‘listening’, Piglet 180.5/178.5/140

I know just what you mean. Went out with a guy tonight to a movie, he knows I’m LC-ing and said he’d done it before and it worked for him, but he was all "Are you sure you don’t want nachos or some candy?"  I was like, hello, do you know what a carbohydrate is?? I said I could eat a hotdog without the bun, but I don’t like movie theater hot dogs.  He really wanted to buy me something though, so I let him get me a diet coke.  I was pretty hungry during the movie, should have eaten before going, but I had my leftover steak waiting for me at home, which I just ate. Yum. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Hi, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This weekend, I spent the day with my MIL.   Now you should know that she is very aware of my husband and my’s way of eating.  When we go to her house she trys to make sure that there are things we can eat.  She doesn’t fully understand all the details, but she trys.  This is a woman who is always pushing food on people, including us although she is also the first person to not-so-subtly hint that we really need to lose weight. So I was with her this weekend.  We were discussing places to eat dinner and I nixed on place b/c I knew there was nothing there I could eat. There were others in the car who asked me a few questions about this way of eating. Anyway, about 10 minutes later, we stop at this sweet shop b/c they needed to pick some things up.  My feet hurt from a long day and I didn’t need the tempation so I stayed in the car.  They weren’t going to be long. Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she meant well, but PLEASE! The important thing is that I brought it home, let it sit on the counter ALL NIGHT without hearing it calling my name and then brought it to work the next day and gave it to one of my co-workers.  I’m proud of myself for not eating it, but I’m very frustrated by this.  My husband was upset that I didn’t give it back to her and maybe I should have, but I just didn’t feel it was worth making a big deal, but deep down it makes me angry. Add to it, that after a couple month period of on-again, off-again, I am now fully re-committed.  However, the first week on induction, I lost 2 pounds. Not bad right?  Well, without changing anything, I put them back on the next week.  After this third week, I took them off again.  THREE WEEKS  on induction and I’ve netted a loss of 2 measly pounds.  Very frustrating.  I’m not stopping, but it sure was part of my willpower in not eating the dessert.

Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing.  Heck, *I’m* one of those people.  Just love the woman for who she is, explain as the opportunity presents itself what you’re doing and keep on doing what’s good for you. Take care, Carmen

Response:

Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing.  Heck, *I’m* one of those people.

I am to as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of cooking. Miss J (Hamilton, Ontario) 374/328/299 (first goal)

Response:

I do so understand about the people who try to undermine you. Like my  mother. She’s in her eighties and remembers this diet from 30 years ago, so she knows what its about.  But then she plays bridge with a friend of hers who is on Atkins, eating a sandwich. "How can you at a sandwich on Atkins?" she asked. Back in the day, there were no commercial Atkins products. So this woman dieter tells my mother about Atkins bread. So she brings home a loaf of bread. So, over the phone, she tells me about this loaf of bread she bought. So as I’m driving home, I’m thinking….bread. I could have a sandwich. Toast maybe.  Crumbs for cooking. It turns out to be wheat bread.  About thirty gazillion carbs a slice. I guess it is better than the vat of croissants, and the crate of chocolate Crispy Cremes she brought home the day after i told her I was ON this diet. And then there’s my son, who keeps a tin and hands me a 1 carb chocolate velamints for my sweet cravings.

Response:

– I feel like I’m disappearing – getting smaller every day,  but I look in the mirror – I’m bigger in every way

<snip rant Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she meant well, but PLEASE!

this is so familar to me. You have all rights to be angry, very angry. I cringe and feel like people never hear what I say, because this same thing has happened to me many many times. People that know that I’m celiac and have got allergies but still give me treats, seriously I can’t imagine that they are that ignorant maybe they just never listen or take me seriously, I have no clue. The last event and a very sad one, was at my job, my boss and the staff gave me chocolates with almonds & waffles (sp?), that type that has both gluten, dairy and nuts – all three that make me severily ill. What did I do? well my disappointement was so big, I accepted and gave it to my friends, but later i sent a letter thanking again (it was christmas) and told unfortunately i couldn’t eat those because I have that disease but thanks anyway. The creepy part is that they _ALL, everyone from my job knew that i had celiac, heck even the kids knew that i couldn’t eat their lunches at school. It’s something that i will never forget, people can care less about what other people say, even if it’s a disease. How many times i’ve got offered no-no foods and had to show them my diagnosis paper or bracelet so they would maybe understand that I can’t eat a tiny bit of that cake and so on. It’s like not accepting their food means not accepting them into your life, their friendship and so on. CREEPY! So… well you have got my support. I’m just as angry as you are. But you did the right thing. Take care

Response:

I must be one of the lucky ones. Whenever my husband and I go to visit his parents, they *insist* that I go to the grocery store with them so they can buy me the foods I am allowed to eat. We sometimes have little squabbles about who should pay for it, but they always win. In fact, my FIL made dinner for us last weekend while we were visiting and made an extra special plate of veggies for me to replace the potatoes and beans that he was making for everyone else. I think, perhaps, they understand it because I have sat down with them and explained, in great detail, why I eat LC. For me, it’s not so much losing weight as for the way I feel for not keeping high amounts of carbs in my diet. They just seem to "get it" and respect it. I have to say, it’s a lovely feeling. But then my in-laws are amazing people, so I shouldn’t really expect anything less. jules

Response:

But then my in-laws are amazing people, so I shouldn’t really expect anything less. jules

Wonderful, isn’t it? My in-laws are also terrific people who support me strongly – as I told my MIL when we visited them at Easter, when we lose them (they’re in their 70s) I’m going to miss her as much as I do my own Mum. As an example, she bought chocolate eggs for everyone at Easter – except me.  For *me* she bought a bag of dry-roasted, unsalted macadamia nuts, and taped an ‘Easter Bunny’ to the bag. She knows I like plenty of veggies, but only lightly steamed (instead of the heavily boiled and salted ones she prefers) so she cooked *two* lots of veggies each time instead of expecting me to eat the ones cooked to her taste. If/when I become a MIL, I’m using her as my role model! Aramanth

Response:

Hi, Piglet, I think you did the right thing.  No one’s feelings truly got hurt and you were able to resist the pastry being in your home.  Big pat on the back for you… smiles, Elise

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This weekend, I spent the day with my MIL.   Now you should know that she is very aware of my husband and my’s way of eating.  When we go to her house she trys to make sure that there are things we can eat.  She doesn’t fully understand all the details, but she trys.  This is a woman who is always pushing food on people, including us although she is also the first person to not-so-subtly hint that we really need to lose weight. So I was with her this weekend.  We were discussing places to eat dinner and I nixed on place b/c I knew there was nothing there I could eat.  There were others in the car who asked me a few questions about this way of eating. Anyway, about 10 minutes later, we stop at this sweet shop b/c they needed to pick some things up.  My feet hurt from a long day and I didn’t need the tempation so I stayed in the car.  They weren’t going to be long. Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she meant well, but PLEASE! The important thing is that I brought it home, let it sit on the counter ALL NIGHT without hearing it calling my name and then brought it to work the next day and gave it to one of my co-workers.  I’m proud of myself for not eating it, but I’m very frustrated by this.  My husband was upset that I didn’t give it back to her and maybe I should have, but I just didn’t feel it was worth making a big deal, but deep down it makes me angry. Add to it, that after a couple month period of on-again, off-again, I am now fully re-committed.  However, the first week on induction, I lost 2 pounds. Not bad right?  Well, without changing anything, I put them back on the next week.  After this third week, I took them off again.  THREE WEEKS  on induction and I’ve netted a loss of 2 measly pounds.  Very frustrating. I’m not stopping, but it sure was part of my willpower in not eating the dessert. Thanks for ‘listening’, Piglet 180.5/178.5/140

Response:

:: — :: I feel like I’m disappearing – getting smaller every day, ::  but I look in the mirror – I’m bigger in every way

:: <snip rant ::: Lo and behold, my MIL came back to the car with a "gift" for me — ::: one of the desserts in the sweet shop.  I opened my mouth to tell ::: her I couldn’t eat it, but then shut it again cause I knew she ::: meant well, but PLEASE! :: :: this is so familar to me. You have all rights to be angry, very :: angry. :: I cringe and feel like people never hear what I say, because this :: same thing has :: happened to me many many times. People that know that I’m celiac and :: have got :: allergies but still give me treats, seriously I can’t imagine that :: they are that ignorant :: maybe they just never listen or take me seriously, I have no clue. :: The last event :: and a very sad one, was at my job, my boss and the staff gave me :: chocolates with :: almonds & waffles (sp?), that type that has both gluten, dairy and :: nuts – all three that :: make me severily ill. :: What did I do? well my disappointement was so big, I accepted and :: gave it to my :: friends, but later i sent a letter thanking again (it was christmas) :: and told unfortunately i couldn’t :: eat those because I have that disease but thanks anyway. The creepy :: part is that they :: _ALL, everyone from my job knew that i had celiac, heck even the :: kids knew that i couldn’t :: eat their lunches at school. It’s something that i will never :: forget, people can care less about :: what other people say, even if it’s a disease. How many times i’ve :: got offered no-no foods :: and had to show them my diagnosis paper or bracelet so they would :: maybe understand that :: I can’t eat a tiny bit of that cake and so on. It’s like not :: accepting their food means not accepting :: them into your life, their friendship and so on. CREEPY! :: So… well you have got my support. :: I’m just as angry as you are. But you did the right thing. Take care It really seems like a waste of energy to get angry about this….that is just how people are…better to get used to it and deal with it. YOU and you alone control what goes into your body, so as long as they aren’t stuff it down your throat, where is the harm?  Leave the anger for someone else….

Response:

Hi, Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing. Heck, *I’m* one of those people. I am to as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of cooking.

<Laughing  For me the time I spend is part of it.  I really enjoy working flour, eggs, butter and sugar into something that looks good, smells good and tastes good.  Just wish I could eat some too…. Take care, Carmen

Response:

| But then my in-laws are amazing people, so I shouldn’t really expect anything less. | | | jules | | Wonderful, isn’t it? | | My in-laws are also terrific people who support me strongly – as I | told my MIL when we visited them at Easter, when we lose them (they’re | in their 70s) I’m going to miss her as much as I do my own Mum. | | As an example, she bought chocolate eggs for everyone at Easter – | except me.  For *me* she bought a bag of dry-roasted, unsalted | macadamia nuts, and taped an ‘Easter Bunny’ to the bag. | What a star! Extra bonus points for throwing in the bunny! Why can’t all in-laws be like ours?  :) jules

Response:

Hi, Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing. Heck, *I’m* one of those people. I am to as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of cooking. <Laughing  For me the time I spend is part of it.  I really enjoy working flour, eggs, butter and sugar into something that looks good, smells good and tastes good.  Just wish I could eat some too….

I’m such  a carb addict I would eat the dough before it was cooked. Miss J (Hamilton, Ontario) 374/328/299 (first goal)

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And then there’s my son, who keeps a tin and hands me a 1 carb chocolate velamints for my sweet cravings.

Those are soooooooo good!  :-) Miss J (Hamilton, Ontario) 374/328/299 (first goal)

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This is the way I get around things like that: This is really true though not quite so serious. I tell them that my triglycerides are so high that I could go into pancreatitis and eventually have pancreatic cancer or liver cancer.  I tell them that my pancreas is very very inadequate to handle sweets and carbs so it is a life-or-death thing.  Apparently no one in my family wants to kill me so they sit up and listen. It’s not that I WANT , it’s that I MUST. I hope this helps a little.  It is really true.  It’s my license to tell them it will happen immediately.  Pancreatitis is a very scary disease. Val in Boise

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I agree.  The velamints sit by the computer for those ‘need a chocolate fix’ times.  Finding Soy Slender Chocolate has also been a Godsend.  Hubby says it tastes like Yoohoo!  Both will definitely be on my shopping lists in the future! — Kelly 270/240.5/199 for now Start Date :  April 21, 2003 July Challenge Goal : 237.5 : And then there’s my son, who keeps a tin and hands me a 1 carb chocolate : velamints for my sweet cravings. : : Those are soooooooo good!  :-)

Response:

Hi, <Laughing  For me the time I spend is part of it.  I really enjoy working flour, eggs, butter and sugar into something that looks good, smells good and tastes good.  Just wish I could eat some too…. I’m such  a carb addict I would eat the dough before it was cooked.

I enjoyed the way the dough or batter tastes, but only ever tasted a bit to ensure it tasted right before baking.  The finished product was my nemesis.  :-) Take care, Carmen

Response:

announced in front of God and everybody: Hi, Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing. Heck, *I’m* one of those people. I am to as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of cooking. <Laughing  For me the time I spend is part of it.  I really enjoy working flour, eggs, butter and sugar into something that looks good, smells good and tastes good.  Just wish I could eat some too….

This is one of the odd things I’m struggling with, the psychology of making and giving food. I trained at a culinary academy and I used to be a pastry chef. Having finally recovered from several years of restaurant burn-out, I genuinely enjoy putting my skills to work — especially baking, ESPECIALLY dessert-making. And I love the positive response I get from sharing a kick-ass pan of brownies or lemon bars or a Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Torte. But eating the way I do now and knowing the negative effects of refined sugar and flour, creating desserts for other people makes me feel like a drug pusher these days. "Here … have a little crack. MMMMmmm, yummy, ain’t it? Have seconds! Bwah-hahahahahaha!" I’ve managed to channel some of that energy into being creative with marinades and grilling techniques, egg dishes and all-the-stuff-you-can-do-with-the-miracle-of-cream-cheese, but I do battle that desire to bring a box of perfect Snickerdoodles to game night with friends, or bake a phenomenal coconut cream cake for a party. I’ve been tinkering with a Splenda-sweetened version of my flourless chocolate/bourbon torte and I make a mean SF mousse …. but dammit, I love traditional baking! Ah well. There’s always trade-offs, eh? Dawn

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and everybody: I must be one of the lucky ones.

I think I am, too. I went to an in-law function this past weekend. I don’t really know them well, and as a rule I don’t talk about what I eat or why I eat this way. In fact, my husband’s cousin — a chiropractor and personal trainer — was talking very passionately about Atkins and low-carb with another family member and I didn’t join in, because I just don’t like talking about my diet. I just didn’t eat chips and dip, choosing celery and a couple of cherry tomatoes instead. No one cared. When the pot luck supper was served, I ate meat and veggies, sampled just enough of my father-in-law’s baked beans to be polite, and said, "no thanks" to the bowls of berry cobbler and ice cream that were passed around for dessert. Nobody cared. Or if they did, they didn’t say anything. I’ve found that most people accept a polite, smiling "no thank you" without any explanation where food is concerned. If I were to bring up Atkins and low-carb myself, then I shouldn’t be surprised if I end up defending it … so I don’t bring it up. I just don’t eat the stuff that I don’t eat, and keep my reasons to myself. Amazing how well that works most of the time. Dawn

Response:

Hi, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – announced in front of God and everybody: Hi, Some people show people they love/care about them with food.  It can be the result of living with role models who did the same thing. Heck, *I’m* one of those people. I am to as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of cooking. <Laughing  For me the time I spend is part of it.  I really enjoy working flour, eggs, butter and sugar into something that looks good, smells good and tastes good.  Just wish I could eat some too…. This is one of the odd things I’m struggling with, the psychology of making and giving food. I trained at a culinary academy and I used to be a pastry chef. Having finally recovered from several years of restaurant burn-out, I genuinely enjoy putting my skills to work — especially baking, ESPECIALLY dessert-making. And I love the positive response I get from sharing a kick-ass pan of brownies or lemon bars or a Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Torte. But eating the way I do now and knowing the negative effects of refined sugar and flour, creating desserts for other people makes me feel like a drug pusher these days. "Here … have a little crack. MMMMmmm, yummy, ain’t it? Have seconds! Bwah-hahahahahaha!" I’ve managed to channel some of that energy into being creative with marinades and grilling techniques, egg dishes and all-the-stuff-you-can-do-with-the-miracle-of-cream-cheese, but I do battle that desire to bring a box of perfect Snickerdoodles to game night with friends, or bake a phenomenal coconut cream cake for a party. I’ve been tinkering with a Splenda-sweetened version of my flourless chocolate/bourbon torte and I make a mean SF mousse …. but dammit, I love traditional baking! Ah well. There’s always trade-offs, eh?

True enough.  I view the goodies differently than you do though. They’re bad for *me* – that’s been shown.  The people around me have different genetics, and they can have some without doing damage.  It’s something I do well, others enjoy the results and I enjoy the process of making and giving so I still do it.  I’ve tried making up some low carb goodie recipes, but the ingredients have different properties and the results just didn’t cut it.  Very few can stand on their own, most coming across as a pseudo-whatever.  The savories never caught my imagination either, so low carb savories leave me cold too.  It was always the chocolate torte with Kirsch soaked cherries alternated with chocolate mousse between the layers cut impossibly thin and decorated with chocolate shavings and handmade chocolate wedges stood up on their sides at an angle in a pinwheel on top that did it for me.  The more fiddly it was the better I liked it.  Sometimes I resent the curtailment of that sort of thing, but that isn’t too often.  :-) Take care, Carmen

Response:

It really seems like a waste of energy to get angry about this….that is just how people are…better to get used to it and deal with it. YOU and you alone control what goes into your body, so as long as they aren’t stuff it down your throat, where is the harm?  Leave the anger for someone else….

uh hu, if i don’t have the right to be angry about people and my disease, well… i guess you are wrong. Try walking in my shoes

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It really seems like a waste of energy to get angry about this….that is just how people are…better to get used to it and deal with it. YOU and you alone control what goes into your body, so as long as they aren’t stuff it down your throat, where is the harm?  Leave the anger for someone else…. uh hu, if i don’t have the right to be angry about people and my disease, well… i guess you are wrong. Try walking in my shoes

he didn’t say you didn’t have the right.  he said it seemed like a waste of energy.  there’s a world of difference there.

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I enjoyed the way the dough or batter tastes, but only ever tasted a bit to ensure it tasted right before baking.  The finished product was my nemesis.  :-)

Seriously I  would  have *half*  the  batter eaten before it even made it to  the baking pans and then finish the rest off after it was cooked. Miss J (Hamilton, Ontario) 374/328/299 (first goal)

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Hi, I enjoyed the way the dough or batter tastes, but only ever tasted a bit to ensure it tasted right before baking.  The finished product was my nemesis.  :-) Seriously I  would  have *half*  the  batter eaten before it even made it to  the baking pans and then finish the rest off after it was cooked.

You *did* have a dough/batter jones going.  Wow.  Good thing you found low-carb.  Especially now that you can go into any grocery store and buy rolls of premade cookie dough.  (A concept I don’t really understand. If you don’t have the 10 to 15 minutes it takes to make a batch of dough you don’t have the time <at an average 10 minutes per pan to bake cookies.  At that point why not just buy cookies?  Baking cookie dough somebody else made doesn’t really count as homemade.) Take care, Carmen

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It really seems like a waste of energy to get angry about this….that is just how people are…better to get used to it and deal with it. YOU and you alone control what goes into your body, so as long as they aren’t stuff it down your throat, where is the harm?  Leave the anger for someone else…. uh hu, if i don’t have the right to be angry about people and my disease, well… i guess you are wrong. Try walking in my shoes he didn’t say you didn’t have the right.  he said it seemed like a waste of energy.  there’s a world of difference there.

well then i think that should be addressed to the OP, not to me, because you know i was just trying to be sympathetic to her, not expecting to get a lesson of text interpretation from you there is a world of difference between being on LC due aesthetic reasons and having people annoying you about eating forbidden foods and between being sick and just being understood that a little bite will really hurt. That’s what i meant about getting angry. Sure may be a waste of time, but again try walking in my shoes and see if you wouldn’t get upset. Well the OP got upset, made a whole vent thread because she have the right, but sure, i don’t have the right to whine. Typical of people

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