Talk Cancer

Question:

Panic and anxiety make me feel ill alot.  I am always afraid that I am not really physically sick; just mentally.  I am desperately afraid of going to doctors because I am afraid that they will say there is nothing wrong with me.  This includes psychiatrists and couselors.  I suffer through life either without meds or with Xanax I "borrowed" from my mother or father because I am too terrified of the doctor to get my own. I’m not a hypochondriac; I guess I am just afraid of being accused of being one.

I think this sort of goes with the territory of having panic attack disorder…seems like everything that is happening with the body is something that triggers the thought of being ill, or that something is wrong.  You tell yourself that there is nothing wrong, but you still wonder if either mentally or physically there is… I never thought I was ill, or never got ill until these panic attacks hit…now it seems as though I always feel there is something wrong.  I also have a fear of going to a doctor and finding out something is very wrong. I’ve heard many people that have panic attacks say the same thing…they are now becoming hypochondriacs, where before they wouldn’t have thought of illnesses for a second…now it seems like a pasttime.  :) -Vicki

Response:

My mother struggled with similiar problems, and I have had to deal with panic attacks for 23 years. First you must understand that worry will not add one day on to your life. Second you are a creation of God, it’s time to try and put your faith in him. The terrible mind boggiling thought of fear nearly consumed me. One day I realized that I’m not taking this journey alone.  Even when I walk in the dark at night I have to say to myself, like a little child would say if his father was walking by his side I have nothing to be afraid of.  If you let God walk with you whereever you go you will be surprised how fast that fear will go away. I am finally off of all drugs after 23 years, Remember diet is important, no caffinine, alcohol, take lots of B Vitamins, have faith…      God Bless

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Panic and anxiety make me feel ill alot.  I am always afraid that I am   not really physically sick; just mentally.  I am desperately afraid of   going to doctors because I am afraid that they will say there is nothing   wrong with me.  

That’s very interesting… I am afraid they’ll tell me I do have something, and then I wouldn’t be able to cope with it for sure!  I think I’d rather just not know, because it’d be something uncurable anyway, so what difference would it make!     Kim

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Suzy, this is my problem, too.  How have you been dealing with it (without – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Did you ever see that movie, "My Girl" where the girl always runs to the doctor because she thinks she’s going to die, and her Dad runs a funeral home.  We’ll that is my life for the last 15 years and I was almost embarrased when I saw a young girl doing that and I am now 30! I’m getting better though… Suzy VP-Birdinator

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I feel sick a lot, but I never know if it is from nerves and depression or if I am really sick.  I am terrified of going to any doctor (internist, psychiatrist, or even a counselor).  I try, but it is so nerve-wracking that I usually do not return.  I am so afraid of an "expert" telling me that there is nothing wrong with me; that "it’s all in my head".  I am so afraid of being brushed off as a hypochondriac that I only get physical medical attention when absolutely necessary and suffer through life without medication for my anxiety and panic attacks.   I just "borrow" 15-20 Xanax from my mom or dad and take them if I think I might hyperventilate myself into unconsciousness.  I want to go back to a psychiatrist and maybe a therapy situation, but I am so intimidated.  By the way, last time I posted I asked if anyone was still in this group because when I subscribed only two entries were displayed.  The last entry was in December.  It must have been an error.  A little information about myself:  I am 23.  I have suffered with anxiety and panic problems as long as I can remember.  I was first treated when I was 18.  The medications I have taken are:  Prozac, Imiprimine, Wellbutrin, Zanax, and Propynol.  It has been almost three years since I have been under a psychiatris’s care.  I tried to go to the psychiatrist at my university, but he scared me so I didn’t return.  I am married and my major is Anthropology with a Philosophy minor. -Rachel

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Did you ever see that movie, "My Girl" where the girl always runs to the doctor because she thinks she’s going to die, and her Dad runs a funeral home.  We’ll that is my life for the last 15 years and I was almost embarrased when I saw a young girl doing that and I am now 30! I’m getting better though… Suzy VP-Birdinator Panic and anxiety make me feel ill alot.  I am always afraid that I am

not really physically sick; just mentally.  I am desperately afraid of going to doctors because I am afraid that they will say there is nothing wrong with me.  This includes psychiatrists and couselors.  I suffer through life either without meds or with Xanax I "borrowed" from my mother or father because I am too terrified of the doctor to get my own. I’m not a hypochondriac; I guess I am just afraid of being accused of being one.

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Cyndie wrote to Kim: maybe your shrink will just put you on Xanax (Ok, Ok, I know I am plugging a drug that alot of you dont like) for a fast fix and then try you on something for the *long haul*

From my own experience, I think the Xanax might be helpful in this situation.  For me, the fact that the Xanax worked so quickly and so well to make me feel better (and at a very low dose) helped to convince me that my problem was Panic Disorder and not a brain tumor or heart problem or something else life-threatening.  It definitely helped  "take the edge off."  It may calm you enough to give one of the other meds a better chance to work. Colleen

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—–Been there, done that.  The heavy feeling…kinda like a stack of bricks on your head….was just another one of the lovely associated symptoms of PD. I spent alot of time going through tests because I was  

Yes, that’s the one.. it’s like if there were a valve on the top of my head that I could turn and let off the steam, I’d be ok..  I also notice it in my ears when I TRY to sleep, it keeps me awake, but seems to lessen if I’m on my back.  I wonder if it isn’t an inner thing.  Has anyone ever had this experience?  Unfortunately, I can’t sleep on my back.   Part of my problem is my incredible fear of doctors too.  The tests would drive me insane, just thinking of a spinal tap or an MRI scares the hell out of me.  At least a dentist will give you the blessed gas to take the edge off… My original doc suggested seeing a psych, I think I will just take his advice and start _there_ instead of all the stressful tests and expense. butt as I was about meds….maybe your shrink will just put you on Xanax (Ok, Ok, I know I am plugging a drug that alot of you dont like) for a

I think I’ll just ask if I can’t try that first, and if it doesn’t work, then try something else.  It’s like I have a really high tolerance to drugs.. you know, this really sucks.  I never thought I’d have this problem. Is Xanax and Ativan the same thing?   Kim

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I am finally going to see a pd/anxiety specialist, but then I feel like I’m going to be wasting my money because there really is something wrong that no one can find (and by the time they do, it’ll be too late), and that I need treatment for that instead of the anxiety that it’s causing.

—–Been there, done that.  The heavy feeling…kinda like a stack of bricks on your head….was just another one of the lovely associated symptoms of PD. I spent alot of time going through tests because I was so sure there must be something else wrong and I was going to die from it (typical for PD sufferers), and some of them really sucked…like the spinal tap…OUCH!      I want so badly something that will just take the edge off.  I’ve tried doxepin and buspar before and they didn’t do anything for me.  I need something that is going to help me, not medications that cost a fortune and don’t do a darn thing.  How do you tell a pd/anx specialist ‘hey that didn’t help’ and they will say well you just didn’t try it long enough.  I mean if something helps you should be able to tell, right?  So how do you even get someone to give you sufficient meds that will DO SOMETHING?  I have limited funds, it’s not like I have thousands of dollars to play around with..

You will spend more money on unnessessary medical tests than you will on drugs.  Just tell your shrink that the other meds dont work for you.  I went through the drug see-saw too, but not for long.  I am not a patient person and I wanted something that would work right now!  Alot of drugs take 4-6 weeks to take effect.  Stopping them before that and you wont know if they could have worked or not.  If you are as big a pain in the butt as I was about meds….maybe your shrink will just put you on Xanax (Ok, Ok, I know I am plugging a drug that alot of you dont like) for a fast fix and then try you on something for the *long haul* I wish you the best, dont give up….I did until I found something that worked incredibly for me. Cyndie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Kim

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: I always worry about my health and concentrate on my symptoms and : sometimes get into a panic.It ruins my life and I am only 39. I fear : cancer so much. Any response would be appreciated. Thanks! Have you tried psychoanalysis? Naturally, my PD spurred some hypochondria for a while, and my psychoanalyst was very helpful in this department.                                 Best Wishes,                                 Arthur

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I always worry about my health and concentrate on my symptoms and sometimes get into a panic.It ruins my life and I am only 39. I fear cancer so much. Any response would be appreciated. Thanks!

Yes, I constantly worry that I have a brain tumor because I sometimes get dizzy.. every little thing that I feel that seems out of the ordinary I magnify it so much that it is taking up about 90 percent of my thinking time.  I feel like something is dulling my brain, that there is a pressure at the top of my head and it scares me to death.  I had my thyroid checked and it came out normal.  I was halfway hoping it wouldn’t have, just so I’d KNOW what it was that’s causing all my anxiety.  I never thought it’d get to the point where I worry this much.  I am sick of being in the grip of fear constantly. And I am so afraid that I won’t be able to afford to get treated.  I seriously doubt I’ll stay at my present job because I can no longer work under pressure.  This is all driving me crazy, especially the worry that something is wrong. I am finally going to see a pd/anxiety specialist, but then I feel like I’m going to be wasting my money because there really is something wrong that no one can find (and by the time they do, it’ll be too late), and that I need treatment for that instead of the anxiety that it’s causing.   I want so badly something that will just take the edge off.  I’ve tried doxepin and buspar before and they didn’t do anything for me.  I need something that is going to help me, not medications that cost a fortune and don’t do a darn thing.  How do you tell a pd/anx specialist ‘hey that didn’t help’ and they will say well you just didn’t try it long enough.  I mean if something helps you should be able to tell, right?  So how do you even get someone to give you sufficient meds that will DO SOMETHING?  I have limited funds, it’s not like I have thousands of dollars to play around with.. Kim

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TD40547 wrote I always worry about my health and concentrate on my symptoms and sometimes get into a panic.It ruins my life and I am only 39. I fear cancer so much. Any response would be appreciated. Thanks!

Hypochondria seems to have a lot to do with my PD.  I experienced a lot of serious illness as a child, both myself and in those around me, and over the past few years I have found myself worrying more and more about my own health–I find myself fearing the WORST about every little symptom and discomfort I experience.  My PAs started after a serious reaction to a medication landed me in the hospital last spring. Every PA brings back that fear that I am dying of something horrible. Colleen

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writes: I always worry about my health and concentrate on my symptoms and sometimes get into a panic.It ruins my life and I am only 39. I fear cancer so much. Any response would be appreciated. Thanks!

Hello TD40547, Had a pretty miserable run of worrying about everything for about 7 years. Interestingly enough, this worrying about everything started about 2 years before I was diagnosed with panic disorder. It finally ended last year. I don’t know why for sure. It might have been the imipramine I started taking then. It might have been some talk therapy I underwent. It might just have been the alignment of the planets. Good luck. I know its no fun to be experiencing what you are. Regards, John Daly

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I always worry about my health and concentrate on my symptoms and sometimes get into a panic.It ruins my life and I am only 39. I fear cancer so much. Any response would be appreciated. Thanks!

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