Talk Cancer

Question:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve? – How did you analyze the need? – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue? – How did you take action? – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress? – How did you succeed and what did you do after that? Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks.

Response:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content.

Everyone’s approach is different, based on each person’s needs and personalities. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve?

Pain is a reliable indicator. Following the trail of *one symptom* led me to many interrelated beliefs and actions that were self-destructive.  Working on transforming each of these areas is a lifelong process, as far as I can tell. – How did you analyze the need?

I didn’t.  I hurt, I figured I could alleviate the pain through changing something about my own thoughts and behavior, then I tried to do that. – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue?

Again, I didn’t.  I acted, based on acute and chronic pain and my desire to alleviate it. – How did you take action?

I read books, sought out relevant support groups, and found a psychotherapist with experience in working with what I was going through. – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress?

Not sure what you mean by "how."  It certainly took many years to gain improvement in my symptoms and behavior, but I always knew when I was going in the right direction – because my life got better when I did certain things, and worse when I did certain other things.  Through the support groups I participated in, I gained perspective on my behavior and problems and self-corrected my course when things went wrong. – How did you succeed and what did you do after that?

How you succeed in a process of self-improvement is by continuing, so that’s what I’m doing.  More of the above.  And I also find it enriching and strengthening to find ways to give back to others the care and support I’ve been shown along the way. If I had to summarize the process, I’d say: Feel the pain, trace it, experiment with different methods of getting help, KEEP TRYING, keep working, appreciate the small successes, and give back to others.

Response:

I do get tired of people posting to support groups treating us like their own private cage of lab rats. Doesn’t smell like good research technique either. —                         Doris Ostendorf "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."                                                   C.G. Jung

Response:

I do get tired of people posting to support groups treating us like their own private cage of lab rats. Doesn’t smell like good research technique either. —                         Doris Ostendorf "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."                                                   C.G. Jung

I agreed with your statement at first, but then I got to thinking…Maybe the replies people post will help others.  Sometimes the spark of a new idea is so helpful in the midst of a mess.  Kimberley

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve? – How did you analyze the need? – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue? – How did you take action? – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress? – How did you succeed and what did you do after that? Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks.

These are big questions that I cannot adequately answer in one post. Howver, I will try to answer your questions. I first became aware of the (genuine and moivated) need to self-improve during a terrible divorce.  Finding my world turrned upside down one day certainly got me thinking.  This realization actually was a process that began when I was a child.  My divorce allowed me to see this need to change in a very real way. A good therapist helped me start on my path of understanding what was happening to me.  This is where I started to learn about myself. I also was helped indirectly through a very unusual friend of mine who had been on a search for "meaning" in his life.  One day came where I decided that "this was enough" and "I am willing to do anything to keep this experience (divorce) from happening to me again".  When this realization became my committment to myself, I ended up embarking on a journey like no other that I had ever experienced before.  It has been painful, scary, and unpredictable, but also very worthwhile! I will not get into what I discovered about myself and my situation in this post, but I was able to determine some of the things that I needed to do.  My lack of energy (fatigue) was addressed through exersize.  My need to feel connected (which I found to be very important and theraputic) was met by creating opportunities to interact with others.  So I joined a divorce singles group. Structure was lacking in my life, so I attempted to work with my therapist in placing structure in my life in the form of weekly plans and a daily routine.  This was and still is difficult for me.  Back then I was on medication to help take the edge off of my depression (which also helped my fatigue) so I can recover from my divorce and learn healthy coping skills. The support I was given to "take action" primarily came from myself and my therapist.  Others in the singles group helped too. My friends and parents were unfortunately not a part of this experience.  Also it was very difficult holding down a job during this time of my life, particularily when deadlines needed to be met in my competative field. This adventure of mine has made what I think I can call hapiness (or an awareness of it) accessible to me at times. I am much better of than I was back then, which was about ten years ago.  I have had a variety of experiences since then, and also a growing awareness of myself and what occurs around me in my life.  I also have met some incredible people that I happened to "bump into" when our paths crossed.  I have also had the opportunity to contribute to others in what I think is in significant ways.  This does mean alot to me. I find that being open to possabilities is the most important place I can be in my life right now.  I have had some major bumps in my travels, and also I have been fortunate to get an idea of what is possible in my life.  That is what I am in the process of pursuing now: possabilities.  The difference now is acting on some of the possabilities I have imagined for myself, and pursuing this type of life along with another like-minded person.  Even if I do not find that "special someone", I still know I will be OK.  I think this is the most important realization of all! Bob

Response:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve? – How did you analyze the need? – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue? – How did you take action? – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress? – How did you succeed and what did you do after that? Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks.

This sounds like an interview guide for a research project to me. Why do you want to know all this? What’s your "take" on this issue? Please, feed us some more information. Katherine (and her pieces)

Response:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve?

You’re not happy. – How did you analyze the need?

Think about it. – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue?

Make choices – How did you take action?

Get off your fat butt and do something about it. – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress?

Stamina. – How did you succeed and what did you do after that?

I got away with it. And I’m still working on it.

Response:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve? – How did you analyze the need? – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue? – How did you take action? – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress? – How did you succeed and what did you do after that? Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks.

This bothers me.  Who are you?  Why are you doing this?  What’s the deal here?  Are you doing this for yourself? Or are you asking us to do your homework for you? wombn    "An’ ye harm none, do as ye will." **** take the "s" off the end of my email address ****

Response:

: Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks. : during one of my visits to a psych. hospital, i had been steering : clear of arts and crafts activities, since i thought they looked kind : of "stupid.".  finally, a friend i trusted got me into making ceramic : things (lots of ashtrays, for example) and although i knew i was so : damn smart and better than that, i discovered that just simple : constructive activity did make me feel better.  it didn’t matter what : activity it was, really. In 1964 as a patient at Walter Reed Hospital I took part in what was called occupational therapy. About the only thing I did was to make a wallet for my father and sent it home….   In Feb 1995 my father died at age 83 of cancer…Being the only child I went immediately home to visit my mother. She was ok….and asked me to help her clean out dads drawers….In that collection of 32 years + was the wallet. Inside was the note I had written to him and had forgotten. It time, but its effects lasted longer than the universe! Peace Bob

Response:

Please share with me how you get involved with a self-improvement activity and complete it? I’m more interested in the process than the content. Specifically, – How did you first become aware of a need to self-improve? – How did you analyze the need? – How did you plan on improving the situation/issue? – How did you take action? – How did you find support to keep the action and to maintain the progress? – How did you succeed and what did you do after that? Please email or post your experiences/ideas. Thanks.

just do it. i think Alcoholics Anonymous has a few things to offer us depressed people. just keep it simple. don’t over-analyze it.   maybe i am not understanding what you mean by self-improvement.  do you mean in terms of how to self-improve oneself out of depressed feelings? during one of my visits to a psych. hospital, i had been steering clear of arts and crafts activities, since i thought they looked kind of "stupid.".  finally, a friend i trusted got me into making ceramic things (lots of ashtrays, for example) and although i knew i was so damn smart and better than that, i discovered that just simple constructive activity did make me feel better.  it didn’t matter what activity it was, really. oran s.

Response: