Talk Cancer » Cancer Hospital » How Crazy am I?
How Crazy am I?
Question:
>Insightful poem, Dave. Maybe in time Robot will grasp the meaning.<
Okay, what DOES it mean? It sounds like it’s talking about a girl who saw her Mom being abused repeatedly -("she learned from her momma")- and fell into the same pattern herself when she got married. I don’t know WHAT made me think that Dave -(who posted the poem)- was the husband in the story. I’m sorry. THAT was a terrible mistake on my part! But, I’m still confused as to what ELSE the poem would be illustrating. ROBOT
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ROBOT wrote in message <6rb7c3$k8…@usenet43.supernews.com>… >Dave wrote in message <35d5c410.81003…@news.jacksonville.net>… >>An Eight Year Old Girl. >>An eight year old girl. >>She learned from her mama. >>She grows up. >>She marries. >>She loves him. >>He has an affair. >>He says he’s sorry. >-(SNIP)- >>He never gets better. >>He only gets worse. >>A wasted life, >>dreaming of a future when everything will be alright for >>An eight year old girl. >>She learned from her mama. >>Dave >Okay, Dave, are you confessing, or what? If so, do your victim a favor >and divorce her so she can be free to find a man who’ll treat her >RIGHT. If you love her, you’ll wise up and quit abusing her. >ROBOT
Insightful poem, Dave. Maybe in time Robot will grasp the meaning.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dave wrote in message <35d5c410.81003…@news.jacksonville.net>… >An Eight Year Old Girl. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She grows up. >She marries. >She loves him. >He has an affair. >He says he’s sorry. -(SNIP)- >He never gets better. >He only gets worse. >A wasted life, >dreaming of a future when everything will be alright for >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >Dave
Okay, Dave, are you confessing, or what? If so, do your victim a favor and divorce her so she can be free to find a man who’ll treat her RIGHT. If you love her, you’ll wise up and quit abusing her. ROBOT
Response:
Sounds to me like a Catholic girl and her mother. Funny how life is when we are young, and then we grow up and learn that you can’t keep dreaming for the "perfect" union. Sometimes you find it, but first you might have to go through hell to acheive it. On Sat, 15 Aug 1998 17:20:24 GMT, dstein@REMOVE_THISmediaone.net – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(Dave) wrote: >An Eight Year Old Girl. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She grows up. >She marries. >She loves him. >He has an affair. >He says he’s sorry. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She forgives him. >She wants him to get better. >She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. >He threatens her. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She looks at his good points. >He has another affair. >He says he’s sorry, he’ll NEVER do that again. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She forgives him. >She wants him to get better. >She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. >He gets angry one day. >He hits her. >He breaks furniture. >He says he’s sorry. >He blames it on his medication. >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >She forgives him. >She wants him to get better. >She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. >He never gets better. >He only gets worse. >A wasted life, >dreaming of a future when everything will be alright for >An eight year old girl. >She learned from her mama. >Dave
Response:
Hey Dave (or whoever wrote the poem with Dave’s account), Just wanted to say that that was a very thoughtful poem. You really hit the nail on the head. —–== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==—– http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Response:
An Eight Year Old Girl. An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. She grows up. She marries. She loves him. He has an affair. He says he’s sorry. An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. She forgives him. She wants him to get better. She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. He threatens her. An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. She looks at his good points. He has another affair. He says he’s sorry, he’ll NEVER do that again. An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. She forgives him. She wants him to get better. She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. He gets angry one day. He hits her. He breaks furniture. He says he’s sorry. He blames it on his medication. An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. She forgives him. She wants him to get better. She dreams of a future when everything will be alright. He never gets better. He only gets worse. A wasted life, dreaming of a future when everything will be alright for An eight year old girl. She learned from her mama. Dave
Response:
have you ever thought hat you might need co-dependancy counseling. you should be trying to help yourself while your trying to get him help!!!
got to talk to a man about a horse
Response:
I agree with the girlfriend! Look at what he’s putting you through all the time, and you’ve got more important things to worry about with your father. Also another thing to consider is what sort of example is your husband setting for your son ? I think you should get him help then get out of there. It isn’t worth it to put up with crap like that. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Cathy Bundy wrote in message <35CF1A84.42FC7…@swbell.net>… >So a couple of weeks ago I go to see my 75 year old father in Las Vegas, >and found him literally straving to death in spite of his hiring a >cook/housekeeper. I put him in the hospital to get him well enough to >travel back to Texas with me, so I can get him into an assisted living >residence. During this my husband comes home early one afternoon and >finds my son doing drugs in the house with some friends (after promises >that he would stay straight). >So I come back to make arrangement to bring my father here. My husband >is away on a business trip for a week, then he returns we have a nice >romantic evening at home. The next day we get into a big fight over him >treating my son like crap over some small insignificant thing. The >fight ends wsith him slapping me and slamming into a few walls. (It >appears that he has not been taking his anti-depressants while on his >trip.) Later that evening I see that our cell phone has some voice >messages on it. One on the messages in from a young lady who is >slightly upset that she hears a child voice on the background of his >recorded greeting (our daughter). So I call this woman to inquire why >it should concern her. He has been having an affair with this woman for >a couple of months (he sees her while on business trips). I felt so >sorry for her, she had put an ad in one of the internet personals >looking for a long term relationship and thought that she had found >one. Now she is devastated over the thought that she had something to >do with destroying a family. I tried to console her and explain that he >was to blame not her. If it hadn’t have been her, it would have been >someone else, in fact I’d be surprised if there weren’t others. >Upon being confronted with this, he turns suicidal at the thought of >losing me and Stephanie. He grabs a gun and drives off. I tried >desperately to stop him but couldn’t. I knew that gun wasn’t loaded >because I had hidden the clips the last time he turned suicidal. The >next thing I know the police are at my door, they were responding to a >call from my house. Apparently my husband called them about a domestic >distrubance in which there was physical violence. They had in fact >already stopped him down the street and arrested him for carrying a >concealed weapon. I still don’t know how they happened to stop him. >They committed him to a mental hospital, (an improvement over the last >time they arrested him when I called them, they threw him into a drunk >tank, which is why I didn’t this time. Plus I was afraid he’d go waving >the gun around and get himself shot. >We went through this a couple of years ago. Although he says he never >actually met any of the women, and several women that I talked to all >said they hadn’t slept with him yet (although it was in the plans). He >went through therapy for despression, although it was medicinal, no >actual cognitive therapy. >I just want to see that he gets help. I am the only person that he’s >got. And when he gets like this he can’t make it on his own, we don’t >even have the money right now for him to move out. I also made a >promise to myself when I was going through this crap before that I would >set a time limit, if things weren’t on track by the time that son >youngest son turned 18 (he did this last month), that I would leave >him. But I can’t leave him like this. I’ve been there through his >cancer (he’s in remission) and his deep depressions. How can I just >turn my back on him now? I know that I’ll eventually be OK. But I >don’t think that he will. My sons (from a previous marriage, but raised >by my current husband) think that I should concentrate on taking care on >myself, my father and their little sister (she’s eight). how can I tell >her that she’s going to lose her daddy? I had to do that to my sons >when they were her age. My little girl is so attached to him. How can >I turn away from a man that needs my help and love? >I know that I must be totally insane. His girlfriend kept telling me I >didn’t deserve this (is that pathetic or what?) and I know that I don’t >deserve this. But…
Response:
On Mon, 10 Aug 1998 23:14:26 -0500, Cathy <boce…@swbell.net> wrote:
-=>> What did your father do to deserve what has happened to him? What did -=>> -=>> your husband do to deserve cancer? What did your husband do to -=>> deserve to be mentally ill? -=>> -=>> Victoria "Lee" -=> -=> You’ve got a point. Maybe that’s why I can’t leave him. When I -=>talked to him on the telephone today, he was so cruel. But when I went -=>to the hospital to visit him, he was so sad. When he begged me to stay, -=>I couldn’t tell him no. I know that he loves me. Even through -=>everything. I thought that I could preserve some sembolance of sanity -=>if I set a limit to how much I would take and how long I would take it. -=>But tonight I saw that I would take it until he is on his feet. As long -=>as he is trying I know that I will. I suspect that there’s a lot of love there. It’s just been buried in hurt, anger, exhaustion and confusion. This might sound like weird advice, but I promise you it will be some of the best you get – EAT. When people are stressed out one thing they tend to do is just grab food that’s convenient and they forget about vitamins, etc. Of all of the times you NEED to eat a very well balanced meals this is it. You will feel better and be able to handle whatever life throws at you better. Victoria "Lee"
Response:
> What did your father do to deserve what has happened to him? What did > your husband do to deserve cancer? What did your husband do to > deserve to be mentally ill? > Victoria "Lee"
You’ve got a point. Maybe that’s why I can’t leave him. When I talked to him on the telephone today, he was so cruel. But when I went to the hospital to visit him, he was so sad. When he begged me to stay, I couldn’t tell him no. I know that he loves me. Even through everything. I thought that I could preserve some sembolance of sanity if I set a limit to how much I would take and how long I would take it. But tonight I saw that I would take it until he is on his feet. As long as he is trying I know that I will.
Response:
In alt.support.depression Cathy Bundy <boce…@swbell.net> wrote: I got to reply to this. You are not helping his problem by staying and doing nothing. If you change nothing, this will continue to happen over and over again. You are a good, altruistic person and you mean well, but you are just not helping him. Something got to change to give him that reality check. It can’t go on like this forever, destroying everyone involved. Ilya
Response:
I found that I was in the same type of cycle you seem to be in. My ex wanted to make me believe he would change or that I could help him if I stayed also. He threatened suicide and still calls me occasionally to relate how depressed he still is over our divorce. He claims he still loves me and wants me back…then he takes a weekend to take his new girlfriend to the beach. We have 2 children, one 10 and one 16. They observed ALL of the behavior that occurred in our home over the years. It took be YEARS to leave this man but, I sleep better at night. My children have a better relationship with him now as they know they are safe. I do not have the constant anxiety of wondering when is it going to start again. I have started a new life with less stress. He is still apart of our lives but I am not responsible for him or his actions. I could not save him…only he can save himself. Good Luck…Demona http://www.InsideTheWeb.com/messageboard/mbs.cgi/mb97542
Response:
On Mon, 10 Aug 1998 11:06:29 -0500, Cathy Bundy <boce…@swbell.net> wrote: -=>So a couple of weeks ago I go to see my 75 year old father in Las Vegas, -=>and found him literally straving to death in spite of his hiring a -=>cook/housekeeper. I put him in the hospital to get him well enough to -=>travel back to Texas with me, so I can get him into an assisted living -=>residence. During this my husband comes home early one afternoon and -=>finds my son doing drugs in the house with some friends (after promises -=>that he would stay straight). -=> -=>So I come back to make arrangement to bring my father here. My husband -=>is away on a business trip for a week, then he returns we have a nice -=>romantic evening at home. The next day we get into a big fight over him -=>treating my son like crap over some small insignificant thing. The -=>fight ends wsith him slapping me and slamming into a few walls. (It -=>appears that he has not been taking his anti-depressants while on his -=>trip.) Later that evening I see that our cell phone has some voice -=>messages on it. One on the messages in from a young lady who is -=>slightly upset that she hears a child voice on the background of his -=>recorded greeting (our daughter). So I call this woman to inquire why -=>it should concern her. He has been having an affair with this woman for -=>a couple of months (he sees her while on business trips). I felt so -=>sorry for her, she had put an ad in one of the internet personals -=>looking for a long term relationship and thought that she had found -=>one. Now she is devastated over the thought that she had something to -=>do with destroying a family. I tried to console her and explain that he -=>was to blame not her. If it hadn’t have been her, it would have been -=>someone else, in fact I’d be surprised if there weren’t others. -=> -=>Upon being confronted with this, he turns suicidal at the thought of -=>losing me and Stephanie. He grabs a gun and drives off. I tried -=>desperately to stop him but couldn’t. I knew that gun wasn’t loaded -=>because I had hidden the clips the last time he turned suicidal. The -=>next thing I know the police are at my door, they were responding to a -=>call from my house. Apparently my husband called them about a domestic -=>distrubance in which there was physical violence. They had in fact -=>already stopped him down the street and arrested him for carrying a -=>concealed weapon. I still don’t know how they happened to stop him. -=>They committed him to a mental hospital, (an improvement over the last -=>time they arrested him when I called them, they threw him into a drunk -=>tank, which is why I didn’t this time. Plus I was afraid he’d go waving -=>the gun around and get himself shot. -=> -=>We went through this a couple of years ago. Although he says he never -=>actually met any of the women, and several women that I talked to all -=>said they hadn’t slept with him yet (although it was in the plans). He -=>went through therapy for despression, although it was medicinal, no -=>actual cognitive therapy. -=> -=>I just want to see that he gets help. I am the only person that he’s -=>got. And when he gets like this he can’t make it on his own, we don’t -=>even have the money right now for him to move out. I also made a -=>promise to myself when I was going through this crap before that I would -=>set a time limit, if things weren’t on track by the time that son -=>youngest son turned 18 (he did this last month), that I would leave -=>him. But I can’t leave him like this. I’ve been there through his -=>cancer (he’s in remission) and his deep depressions. How can I just -=>turn my back on him now? I know that I’ll eventually be OK. But I -=>don’t think that he will. My sons (from a previous marriage, but raised -=>by my current husband) think that I should concentrate on taking care on -=>myself, my father and their little sister (she’s eight). how can I tell -=>her that she’s going to lose her daddy? I had to do that to my sons -=>when they were her age. My little girl is so attached to him. How can -=>I turn away from a man that needs my help and love? -=> -=>I know that I must be totally insane. His girlfriend kept telling me I -=>didn’t deserve this (is that pathetic or what?) and I know that I don’t -=>deserve this. But… What did your father do to deserve what has happened to him? What did your husband do to deserve cancer? What did your husband do to deserve to be mentally ill? Victoria "Lee"
Response:
So a couple of weeks ago I go to see my 75 year old father in Las Vegas, and found him literally straving to death in spite of his hiring a cook/housekeeper. I put him in the hospital to get him well enough to travel back to Texas with me, so I can get him into an assisted living residence. During this my husband comes home early one afternoon and finds my son doing drugs in the house with some friends (after promises that he would stay straight). So I come back to make arrangement to bring my father here. My husband is away on a business trip for a week, then he returns we have a nice romantic evening at home. The next day we get into a big fight over him treating my son like crap over some small insignificant thing. The fight ends wsith him slapping me and slamming into a few walls. (It appears that he has not been taking his anti-depressants while on his trip.) Later that evening I see that our cell phone has some voice messages on it. One on the messages in from a young lady who is slightly upset that she hears a child voice on the background of his recorded greeting (our daughter). So I call this woman to inquire why it should concern her. He has been having an affair with this woman for a couple of months (he sees her while on business trips). I felt so sorry for her, she had put an ad in one of the internet personals looking for a long term relationship and thought that she had found one. Now she is devastated over the thought that she had something to do with destroying a family. I tried to console her and explain that he was to blame not her. If it hadn’t have been her, it would have been someone else, in fact I’d be surprised if there weren’t others. Upon being confronted with this, he turns suicidal at the thought of losing me and Stephanie. He grabs a gun and drives off. I tried desperately to stop him but couldn’t. I knew that gun wasn’t loaded because I had hidden the clips the last time he turned suicidal. The next thing I know the police are at my door, they were responding to a call from my house. Apparently my husband called them about a domestic distrubance in which there was physical violence. They had in fact already stopped him down the street and arrested him for carrying a concealed weapon. I still don’t know how they happened to stop him. They committed him to a mental hospital, (an improvement over the last time they arrested him when I called them, they threw him into a drunk tank, which is why I didn’t this time. Plus I was afraid he’d go waving the gun around and get himself shot. We went through this a couple of years ago. Although he says he never actually met any of the women, and several women that I talked to all said they hadn’t slept with him yet (although it was in the plans). He went through therapy for despression, although it was medicinal, no actual cognitive therapy. I just want to see that he gets help. I am the only person that he’s got. And when he gets like this he can’t make it on his own, we don’t even have the money right now for him to move out. I also made a promise to myself when I was going through this crap before that I would set a time limit, if things weren’t on track by the time that son youngest son turned 18 (he did this last month), that I would leave him. But I can’t leave him like this. I’ve been there through his cancer (he’s in remission) and his deep depressions. How can I just turn my back on him now? I know that I’ll eventually be OK. But I don’t think that he will. My sons (from a previous marriage, but raised by my current husband) think that I should concentrate on taking care on myself, my father and their little sister (she’s eight). how can I tell her that she’s going to lose her daddy? I had to do that to my sons when they were her age. My little girl is so attached to him. How can I turn away from a man that needs my help and love? I know that I must be totally insane. His girlfriend kept telling me I didn’t deserve this (is that pathetic or what?) and I know that I don’t deserve this. But…