Talk Cancer

Question:

Dawn: Well, I don’t know if I can safely speak for the rest of the group or not, put I, personally, apologize deeply & profusely for the advice I sent to you via private email. Yes, I live miles & miles away from you….yes, I don’t know personally what you’re going through…..yes, I don’t know shit….but, in my own misguided, meager, ignorant, foolish way, I was only trying to help put your mind at ease. Because one thing that this damn MS taught me a long time ago, is that stress will make you sick & panic-stricken if you let it. It accomplishes nothing. It’s a waste of perfectly good energy that I personally need for other things in my life. I mistakenly thought that maybe you needed/wanted some respite from that stress. In my own stupid way, I was only trying to help. I don’t recall anyone here implying that you needed psychological help…only that you were stressed out over this, & needed to step back & take a deep breath, & get this into a different persective. If that makes you "mental", then we’re all bozo’s on this bus, cos we’ve all been through that, in one form or another, at some point in our lives. But, again, we were only trying to help…..& I guess our efforts were inadequate & unwelcome. Dawn, it’s nobody’s decision but your own as to whether you have those extra tests or not. Nobody, including the dr’s, can force you to have them or not. BUT, as I said in my email to you, don’t be surprized if they repeat them once you go in for your surgery, anyway. While I’m not a dr (is ANYONE in this group?), it would seem to me to be an idiot risk to cut someone open w/out having today’s pictures & test results. Especially on someone who’s condition is changing so rapidly. But, then again, what do I know? Absolutely nothing. So, my deepest apologies for trying to help. All I can say is, we love you, we wish you the best, & I’ll be watching here to find out how it all turns out. I won’t offer anymore advice. Reading this post felt like a slap in the face…..it hurt, & made me feel embarrassed for trying to help w/ a situation that you’ve made clear to us that we’re all too ignorant to understand. Get Well Soon! Lin ~~ Not a complete idiot – some parts missing ~~ My header never changes…..look carefully & don’t be fooled by forgeries! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dawn Jenkins wrote: > Hi James, > Thank you so very very much. <smiling at you> I don’t think you have any > idea. What you just did for me. Or maybe you do. That’s why you sent it. > Despite what everybody else feels here. YOU have just saved my life. Unless > you have a lot of knowledge of medicine. You would never understand EXACTLY > what’s going on. > Notice in all of the replies. There isn’t one medical professional that > replied. Because they know what I’m saying is true. Don’t get me wrong! I > never expected you to reply. I would NEVER expect you to get involved with > something as CRIMINAL as this. > James. I can take a deep breath now and relax. I also sent an email to hope > and cope. I would also like them to help me. Get access to my records. You > guys > are in for a rude awakening. Remember I said this when it happens. > And believe me. There is nothing psychologically wrong with me. I already > spoke to my other doctors about this. And not ONE thought that I was > psychologically disturbed. OK!! > Malus. You pushed me too far. Even the most compassionate can be broken. If > pushed too far.

Response:

Hi Lin & Everybody, There is no need to apologize. You didn’t know. And you still don’t know. It will all be made clear very soon. You can give advice. But you can’t force the person to take it. It’s up to the person. Whether or not to accept it. That’s what I tried to tell someone in this group. And she/he wouldn’t listen. And that person knows who she/he is. I appreciate what ALL of you have done for me. Because if you didn’t contact hope and cope. I would not have had that avenue today. To get me out of this mess. You’re right!!! It is only me. That knows the complete situation. But I still could not have accomplished it without your help. I am not angry. I’ve been through a lot. I can’t understand how the medical system. Could be so crooked. First with the nurses and the sexual abuse. And now with the doctors. I am not able to say much. Because as I said before. The doctors and the hospital are following this. I know it for a fact. So I have to be careful what I say. It’s going to take me a very long time. To be able to trust again. And that includes my shadow. Because I’ve been through too much. If you feel like this is a slap in the face. Well then I apologize. Because that’s not my intention. But even with all this coming out. Only a miracle will be able to save my life. I said it over and over again. That I’m dying. I said it over and over again. That it’s all of you that is keeping me alive. I DON’T exaggerate. I shouldn’t even be alive now. When I can make myself more clearer I will. Please take care, Dawn Lin&Jim wrote in message <3735A86E.5…@fnet.FriendlyNet.com>…

Dawn: Well, I don’t know if I can safely speak for the rest of the group or not, put I, personally, apologize deeply & profusely for the advice I sent to you via private email. Yes, I live miles & miles away from you….yes, I don’t know personally what you’re going through…..yes, I don’t know shit….but, in my own misguided, meager, ignorant, foolish way, I was only trying to help put your mind at ease. Because one thing that this damn MS taught me a long time ago, is that stress will make you sick & panic-stricken if you let it. It accomplishes nothing. It’s a waste of perfectly good energy that I personally need for other things in my life. I mistakenly thought that maybe you needed/wanted some respite from that stress. In my own stupid way, I was only trying to help. I don’t recall anyone here implying that you needed psychological help…only that you were stressed out over this, & needed to step back & take a deep breath, & get this into a different persective. If that makes you "mental", then we’re all bozo’s on this bus, cos we’ve all been through that, in one form or another, at some point in our lives. But, again, we were only trying to help…..& I guess our efforts were inadequate & unwelcome. Dawn, it’s nobody’s decision but your own as to whether you have those extra tests or not. Nobody, including the dr’s, can force you to have them or not. BUT, as I said in my email to you, don’t be surprized if they repeat them once you go in for your surgery, anyway. While I’m not a dr (is ANYONE in this group?), it would seem to me to be an idiot risk to cut someone open w/out having today’s pictures & test results. Especially on someone who’s condition is changing so rapidly. But, then again, what do I know? Absolutely nothing. So, my deepest apologies for trying to help. All I can say is, we love you, we wish you the best, & I’ll be watching here to find out how it all turns out. I won’t offer anymore advice. Reading this post felt like a slap in the face…..it hurt, & made me feel embarrassed for trying to help w/ a situation that you’ve made clear to us that we’re all too ignorant to understand. Get Well Soon! Lin ~~ Not a complete idiot – some parts missing ~~ My header never changes…..look carefully & don’t be fooled by forgeries! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dawn Jenkins wrote: > Hi James, > Thank you so very very much. <smiling at you> I don’t think you have any > idea. What you just did for me. Or maybe you do. That’s why you sent it. > Despite what everybody else feels here. YOU have just saved my life. Unless > you have a lot of knowledge of medicine. You would never understand EXACTLY > what’s going on. > Notice in all of the replies. There isn’t one medical professional that > replied. Because they know what I’m saying is true. Don’t get me wrong! I > never expected you to reply. I would NEVER expect you to get involved with > something as CRIMINAL as this. > James. I can take a deep breath now and relax. I also sent an email to hope > and cope. I would also like them to help me. Get access to my records. You > guys > are in for a rude awakening. Remember I said this when it happens. > And believe me. There is nothing psychologically wrong with me. I already > spoke to my other doctors about this. And not ONE thought that I was > psychologically disturbed. OK!! > Malus. You pushed me too far. Even the most compassionate can be broken. If > pushed too far.

Response:

In article <t3fZ2.1826$r_1.1231…@newscontent-02.sprint.ca>, "Dawn Jenkins" <da…@sprint.ca> wrote:

| Hi James, | | Thank you so very very much. <smiling at you> I don’t think you have any | idea. What you just did for me. Or maybe you do. That’s why you sent it. | | Despite what everybody else feels here. YOU have just saved my life. Unless | you have a lot of knowledge of medicine. You would never understand EXACTLY | what’s going on. Hi Dawn, You are very welcome Dawn, I think my ‘take’ on what I’ve read is just ‘different’ from others (I’ve had that label, many times in my life!). I believe that doctors can fail in many ways and for me, hearing that they wanted to performs certain procedures on you, without gaining your acceptance, indicated (amongst other things) that they had failed as communicators! I pray that Hope & Cope can restore communication so that both you and the doctors understand each other (they would be too subject to law suite if they left your current understanding, nomatter what their personal agenda!). When you contacted Hope and Cope, (and here I’m assuming you are ‘out patient’), I hope you gave them lots of info, for getting in touch with you! Prayers and good thought coming your way! — Take care James (#11)

Response:

In article <01be9994$a0b9e720$5ee38…@arowe.tinet.ie>, "Amanda Rowe" <aman…@tinet.ie> wrote:

| A quick ? James! Is this a copyof a message to the hospital for our | information. | Amanda, Yes, I posted with my newsreader, both posting and mailing (to Hope & Cope). I learn something new about my tools everyday! The original headers included: |            Date: |                 Sat, 08 May 1999 13:24:44 -0700 |            From: |                 jbridg…@home.com (James Bridges) |              To: |                 hopec…@onco.jgh.mcgill.ca |          Subject: |                 Dawn Jenkins |      Newsgroups: |                 alt.support.mult-sclerosis |      Organization: |                 @Home Network | | | (A copy of this message has also been posted to the following newsgroups: | alt.support.mult-sclerosis) | | Hello Marta, {snip} As Dawn hadn’t mentioned that Hope & Cope were visiting which indicated to me that they were not reading the group, they needed to know!. — Take care James (#11)

Response:

Hi James, Thank you so very very much. <smiling at you> I don’t think you have any idea. What you just did for me. Or maybe you do. That’s why you sent it. Despite what everybody else feels here. YOU have just saved my life. Unless you have a lot of knowledge of medicine. You would never understand EXACTLY what’s going on. Notice in all of the replies. There isn’t one medical professional that replied. Because they know what I’m saying is true. Don’t get me wrong! I never expected you to reply. I would NEVER expect you to get involved with something as CRIMINAL as this. James. I can take a deep breath now and relax. I also sent an email to hope and cope. I would also like them to help me. Get access to my records. You guys are in for a rude awakening. Remember I said this when it happens. And believe me. There is nothing psychologically wrong with me. I already spoke to my other doctors about this. And not ONE thought that I was psychologically disturbed. OK!! Malus. You pushed me too far. Even the most compassionate can be broken. If pushed too far. Take care, Dawn James Bridges wrote in message …

Hello Marta, This message is in support of Dawn Jenkins (again). It would appear that although your doctors are working on her case, they are NOT keeping Dawn informed enough to alay her fears! If you have been reading the news group alt.support.mult-sclerosis, you will have seen this. As Dawn’s emotional state hasn’t improved, I have to asume that you have not been reading the news group, so I include some comments that Dawn has made to the news group: From Dawn: | Please I need your help. This is a big joke. This is a mockery of the | medical system. Now I understand. Why my GP told me to stop telling all of | you. Before I explain to you. What happened. I want to tell you. | That you have carte blanche to do whatever you want. With this information | I’m going to give you. I had enough of this. | | One thing that I will never allow. Is to be made a fool out of. And to top | it all. For all of you to lose faith in me. And I lose all of your | friendship. Because of what the doctors are doing to me. | | OK. I saw the gyn/onc today. He examined me. Guys I had to take a blood test | today. I was just in the hospital last week. They took blood tests. Why | again? This is insane. | These are the blood tests I took:  CA125; CEA; AFP; and BNCG or BUCG. | | And on top of this he wants me to go. For an MRI. WHY??????? I was suppose | to have surgery last week at 3:00am. Why an MRI now? And then to top it all | off. Surgery after that. This is insane!! and | Hi Kate, | | They’re stalling. I had blood tests in the hospital. In January and last | week. Why now as an outpatient a week later. It doesn’t make sense. There is | something they are hiding. They why want to do the surgery. and | I don’t know what you all want from me. I HAVE been doing what they wanted. | Right from January. The only thing I didn’t do was have. The surgery at | 3:00am. Why didn’t they take these tests last week. You have an answer. | Why didn’t I see this doctor in the hospital. It’s the same hospital. Why | didn’t I have the MRI in the hospital. | | One minute it’s surgery. The next minute it’s hospitalization. The next | minute it’s tests. If it was such an easy thing to resolve. I would have | done it myself. I wouldn’t be asking for help. | | Do you think it’s easy to watch yourself die. This thing doubled in 3 | months. What do you all want from me. | | After the MRI they’ll find something else to do. To stall for time. It’s not | like the mass is tiny. 2cm or less. | It was 5 X 5.3 cm in Jan. In april now. It’s 9 X 6.3 cm. They all say it’s | urgent. But what the hell are they doing OK. | Goodbye. Yes it’s my fault I’m sick | like this. Yeah I know. And the next thing you all will be telling me. Is | that I have an attitude. Please help Dawn! She has BOTH multiple sclerosis (blindness and poor control of muscles (damage to the CNS)) AND Cancer. Take both into account when talking to her. She feels a strong distrust of the medical system (warrented by past experience!). Please ensure that she is made aware of the plans to treat her AND that as plan evolve, she IS kept in the loop. — Thank you, James

Response:

Hello Marta, This message is in support of Dawn Jenkins (again). It would appear that although your doctors are working on her case, they are NOT keeping Dawn informed enough to alay her fears! If you have been reading the news group alt.support.mult-sclerosis, you will have seen this. As Dawn’s emotional state hasn’t improved, I have to asume that you have not been reading the news group, so I include some comments that Dawn has made to the news group:  From Dawn: | Please I need your help. This is a big joke. This is a mockery of the | medical system. Now I understand. Why my GP told me to stop telling all of | you. Before I explain to you. What happened. I want to tell you. | That you have carte blanche to do whatever you want. With this information | I’m going to give you. I had enough of this. | | One thing that I will never allow. Is to be made a fool out of. And to top | it all. For all of you to lose faith in me. And I lose all of your | friendship. Because of what the doctors are doing to me. | | OK. I saw the gyn/onc today. He examined me. Guys I had to take a blood test | today. I was just in the hospital last week. They took blood tests. Why | again? This is insane. | These are the blood tests I took:  CA125; CEA; AFP; and BNCG or BUCG. | | And on top of this he wants me to go. For an MRI. WHY??????? I was suppose | to have surgery last week at 3:00am. Why an MRI now? And then to top it all | off. Surgery after that. This is insane!! and | Hi Kate, | | They’re stalling. I had blood tests in the hospital. In January and last | week. Why now as an outpatient a week later. It doesn’t make sense. There is | something they are hiding. They why want to do the surgery. and | I don’t know what you all want from me. I HAVE been doing what they wanted. | Right from January. The only thing I didn’t do was have. The surgery at | 3:00am. Why didn’t they take these tests last week. You have an answer. | Why didn’t I see this doctor in the hospital. It’s the same hospital. Why | didn’t I have the MRI in the hospital. | | One minute it’s surgery. The next minute it’s hospitalization. The next | minute it’s tests. If it was such an easy thing to resolve. I would have | done it myself. I wouldn’t be asking for help. | | Do you think it’s easy to watch yourself die. This thing doubled in 3 | months. What do you all want from me. | | After the MRI they’ll find something else to do. To stall for time. It’s not | like the mass is tiny. 2cm or less. | It was 5 X 5.3 cm in Jan. In april now. It’s 9 X 6.3 cm. They all say it’s | urgent. But what the hell are they doing OK. | Goodbye. Yes it’s my fault I’m sick | like this. Yeah I know. And the next thing you all will be telling me. Is | that I have an attitude. Please help Dawn! She has BOTH multiple sclerosis (blindness and poor control of muscles (damage to the CNS)) AND Cancer. Take both into account when talking to her. She feels a strong distrust of the medical system (warrented by past experience!). Please ensure that she is made aware of the plans to treat her AND that as plan evolve, she IS kept in the loop. — Thank you, James

Response:

A quick ? James! Is this a copyof a message to the hospital for our information. James Bridges <jbridg…@home.com> wrote in article <jbridges1-0805991324420…@24.64.204.96.bc.wave.home.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello Marta, > This message is in support of Dawn Jenkins (again). It would appear that > although your doctors are working on her case, they are NOT keeping Dawn > informed enough to alay her fears! If you have been reading the news group > alt.support.mult-sclerosis, you will have seen this. As Dawn’s emotional > state hasn’t improved, I have to asume that you have not been reading the > news group, so I include some comments that Dawn has made to the news > group: >  From Dawn: > | Please I need your help. This is a big joke. This is a mockery of the > | medical system. Now I understand. Why my GP told me to stop telling all of > | you. Before I explain to you. What happened. I want to tell you. > | That you have carte blanche to do whatever you want. With this information > | I’m going to give you. I had enough of this. > | > | One thing that I will never allow. Is to be made a fool out of. And to top > | it all. For all of you to lose faith in me. And I lose all of your > | friendship. Because of what the doctors are doing to me. > | > | OK. I saw the gyn/onc today. He examined me. Guys I had to take a blood test > | today. I was just in the hospital last week. They took blood tests. Why > | again? This is insane. > | These are the blood tests I took:  CA125; CEA; AFP; and BNCG or BUCG. > | > | And on top of this he wants me to go. For an MRI. WHY??????? I was suppose > | to have surgery last week at 3:00am. Why an MRI now? And then to top it all > | off. Surgery after that. This is insane!! > and > | Hi Kate, > | > | They’re stalling. I had blood tests in the hospital. In January and last > | week. Why now as an outpatient a week later. It doesn’t make sense. There is > | something they are hiding. They why want to do the surgery. > and > | I don’t know what you all want from me. I HAVE been doing what they wanted. > | Right from January. The only thing I didn’t do was have. The surgery at > | 3:00am. Why didn’t they take these tests last week. You have an answer. > | Why didn’t I see this doctor in the hospital. It’s the same hospital. Why > | didn’t I have the MRI in the hospital. > | > | One minute it’s surgery. The next minute it’s hospitalization. The next > | minute it’s tests. If it was such an easy thing to resolve. I would have > | done it myself. I wouldn’t be asking for help. > | > | Do you think it’s easy to watch yourself die. This thing doubled in 3 > | months. What do you all want from me. > | > | After the MRI they’ll find something else to do. To stall for time. It’s not > | like the mass is tiny. 2cm or less. > | It was 5 X 5.3 cm in Jan. In april now. It’s 9 X 6.3 cm. They all say it’s > | urgent. But what the hell are they doing OK. > | Goodbye. Yes it’s my fault I’m sick > | like this. Yeah I know. And the next thing you all will be telling me. Is > | that I have an attitude. > Please help Dawn! She has BOTH multiple sclerosis (blindness and poor > control of muscles (damage to the CNS)) AND Cancer. Take both into account > when talking to her. She feels a strong distrust of the medical system > (warrented by past experience!). Please ensure that she is made aware of > the plans to treat her AND that as plan evolve, she IS kept in the loop. > — > Thank you, > James

Response:

>So, I was duped by Dawn… and I never knew it?

she was a lovely and very supportive part of this group for a few years.  then, all hell broke loose and she seemed to lose her grip on reality.  (if, indeed that truly was dawn J.)   i (and others) spent a few hours (and a couple hundred $$ before I had cheaper service to canada) on the phone with her when she was in the hospital and while she was supposedly dying.  but there was another person or alter-ego(??) intervening, lying and causing a LOT of trouble for those of us who had known the "old" dawn and wanted to help! really hard to say, but it certainly has been far more pleasant around here since she and the other what’s-her-name stopped posting!!! So, you weren’t a schmuck, rob.  she existed and was much cared for by many ‘old-timers’ around here!  I’ve been here since 1995…and she was her sweet self when I arrived and for a couple of years after that.  Don’t have a clue what REALLY happened to her.  Just glad it came to an end! damned shame… judith