Talk Cancer

Question:

kilikini schreef: ((((((Kili))))) One day at a time. First they haver to find out whether the tumor has actually spread. Maybe it hasn’t. If it has it will be a difficult process, it would be idiotic to deny that. But it is something people tend to come to terms with. Now it is all fresh and overwhelming but we have a way of adapting to circumstances that is often amazing. Let’s wait for the test results. Please keep us updated and vent all you want, that’s what we’re here for. Use the group. Philip

Thanks, Philip.  I feel like I’m being really needy, but, I *do* feel needy. Thanks for being so nice.  This is absolutely the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with.  People like you help make it almost bearable. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

(((((((((Kilikini))))))))))) Sending you all my best thoughts.  You have wonderful care! I’m quite certain this is all too overwhelming for you, sweetie.  :-( Your strength, courage and determination combined with your attitude will take over any and all fears…and you will get through this with the help of all who love you, and care!!!! Love and hugs, Gigglz

Thanks, Gigglz! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Kili, I’m glad you will be getting the very best care possible. That IS good news. I do understand your anxiety. Not only are you anxious and terrified about the Fibromatosis, but all the medical tests, procedures, doctor visits and hospitals as well. Being a phobic about these things myself, I admire your courage and determination. Wishing you nothing but the very best! (((((Kili))))) Thanks, Jackie, I just don’t feel very courageous, but I know it has to be done.  I just wish someone could put me in a coma to do it all! kili

Be careful what you wish for, Kili.  The best response to treatment for serious stuff  comes from the optimism and  positivity of the patient. You’ve conquered  a lot of battles in this war, and you are still standing, fighting, planning, loving, caring, living and dealing.   Keep it up, one day at a time. {{ Kili}} — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Dear Kili, I’m glad you will be getting the very best care possible. That IS good news. I do understand your anxiety. Not only are you anxious and terrified about the Fibromatosis, but all the medical tests, procedures, doctor visits and hospitals as well. Being a phobic about these things myself, I admire your courage and determination. Wishing you nothing but the very best! (((((Kili)))))

Thanks, Jackie, I just don’t feel very courageous, but I know it has to be done.  I just wish someone could put me in a coma to do it all! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Kili, It’s a shame they couldn’t have just admitted you right then and there so you wouldn’t have to deal with any added anxiety but that’s not how these facilities work. Vent all you need to, Kili, we are here for you. smiles, Elise Thanks, Jackie, I just don’t feel very courageous, but I know it has to be done.  I just wish someone could put me in a coma to do it all! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Kili, I know this is hard on you.  My mom is fighting the cancer battle.  I’m afraid she’s so tired of being sick and tired that she is giving up.  All I can say is do NOT give up.  Keep fighting.  The longer you fight, the longer you’ll live and have a chance to beat this.  I’m from Jax, FL and know the Mayo Clinic well.  You can’t be in a better place!!!  BTW, Mom was on Tamoxifen.  She had *no* side effects on it.  She was on it for about a year, and then it stopped working for her.  But, hey…  you never know with medication.  Each case is different.  So, it IS worth a try!!! Peace to you, Kili…. WHAT CANCER CAN’T DO It cannot cripple love, it cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith, it cannot eat away peace it cannot destroy confidence, it cannot kill friendship It cannot shut out the memories, it cannot silence courage It cannot invade the soul, it cannot reduce eternal life. It cannot quench the Spirit. Our greatest enemy is not disease, but despair.

Thanks, Laurie and I’m sorry to hear about your mom.  I can certainly understand her position of being tired of being in pain and being sick all the time.  I wish your mom the best.  If you need to talk, I’ll be here to listen as long as I’m not up in Jax! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

{{{{{Kili}}}}}  I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this.  I hope it works.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Always keep us posted when you can.  Thinking of you now.  I’m glad the trip to Mayo was productive. Love, Di

Thanks, Di.  I’ve never been one to say "why me", but I’m actually saying it in this case.  I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.  But, if Sally can deal with her food, and Deirdre can deal with her teeth, I guess I’ll deal with this. We are some brave souls, aren’t we? kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Kili, Glad to hear you feel good about the facility where you will be treated. Try to keep yourself distracted over the next several days so the anxiety doesn’t get out of hand.  Take this one step at a time.  Stay positive with the treatment. ((((((Kili))))) smiles, Elise

Thanks, Elise, I’m going to do the best I can.  I wish I could sleep; it’s been 3 days without it, now. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m terrified, I’m panicking and I want to go hide in a closet. kili Breathe, kili — breathe.  Slow, relaxed breaths.  Watch your abdomen rise and fall gently with your breathing. Now that you have some oxygen  open the closet door and peek out. No monsters in sight. You can come out now. You have some of the best doctors in the world working for you. Can you do anything about your condition right at this moment? Probably not, so do something else, something more enjoyable. Yeah, I know, it’s easy to say all that.  And I’m talking to myself as much as I am to you.  Let’s all just breathe tonight. We can deal with tomorrow when it comes.

I’m so glad that you all are here; you’re the only ones who understand how things like this can just torture a person. You’re right, Deirdre, I can’t do anything about my condition today, so why worry about it.  Maybe turning on a nice, romantic comedy might help get my mind off everything.  I’ve got the TV on now and I swear, every other commercial has the word CANCER in it.  I don’t need to be reminded! I’m starting to feel a little better.  I want to concentrate on having a nice evening with my husband and no references to my disease!  Thanks, folks! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m terrified, I’m panicking and I want to go hide in a closet. Hi Kili, You don’t know me but I drop in here sometimes and have seen a few of your posts. I posted a message here to you last week. The post showed up on my news service list but not on Google, so looks like it didn’t go through. I hope this post goes through properly. You sure have a lot to deal with. But it looks like doctors and other staff at the Mayo are doing all they can and you are getting good care. I can only imagine your anxiety and fear. A lot is going on with you and you are having to face very difficult problems. It wouldn’t be easy for anyone in your position.  All you can do is try to control your anxiety as best you can and take it easy on yourself. Best wishes. I’m sure you will do well Kili Mary

Thanks, Mary.  The doctors at Mayo are being really thorough; in a way, I wish I could have gone up there first and saved myself months of pain from my previously botched surgery.  (The Mayo oncologist called it a hatchet job.)  Another good thing about this trip to the clinic was that my husband was there with me and he finally understood the severity of my illness.  He kept saying before, why aren’t you feeling better yet?  Well, he gets it now!  Even though I’ve told him that this is an extremely aggressive and recurring tumor, when he heard it from the doctor at Mayo, I think he was more than a little surprised.  The important thing is that he’s being supportive.  Thanks for your support, too, Mary.  It’s appreciated. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, folks, I’m home today.  I got the litany on my condition of Fibromatosis today.  Sigh.  (Major panic/anxiety attack at the clinic, btw.) I have to say this clinic is run like a well-oiled machine.  Dang, they’re good! Basically, the oncologist thinks the tumor I had removed in late June is back already, and it has possibly spread (which I thought, too).  So, I have to return to the clinic Monday morning (that 5 hour drive is torture) for blood work, urinalysis, an MRI – under sedation – and a bone scan to see if the tumors have spread to my rib bones. Tuesday’s regimen is a CT scan, an ultrasound, and then another consultation – with a radiologist, this time. Based upon the results of the tests, a thoracic surgeon, an oncologist, the radiologist and a plastic surgeon are going to talk about what the best course of treatment will be for me.  They’re thinking they may want to remove a couple of my ribs, my breasts and another section of my chest muscle. With surgery performed, and with the use of a drug called Tamoxifen, while undergoing radiation and possibly chemotherapy, the oncologist thinks they may be able to control my condition.  Again, since Fibromatosis is so rare, I’m going to be basically a guinea pig.  Yay.  Also, again, treatment all depends upon the outcome of my tests. Meanwhile, I think pulling the trigger on a 12-gauge shotgun to my head sounds like more fun. I’m terrified, I’m panicking and I want to go hide in a closet.

Kili, I know this is hard on you.  My mom is fighting the cancer battle.  I’m afraid she’s so tired of being sick and tired that she is giving up.  All I can say is do NOT give up.  Keep fighting.  The longer you fight, the longer you’ll live and have a chance to beat this.  I’m from Jax, FL and know the Mayo Clinic well.  You can’t be in a better place!!!  BTW, Mom was on Tamoxifen.  She had *no* side effects on it.  She was on it for about a year, and then it stopped working for her.  But, hey…  you never know with medication.  Each case is different.  So, it IS worth a try!!! Peace to you, Kili…. WHAT CANCER CAN’T DO It cannot cripple love, it cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith, it cannot eat away peace it cannot destroy confidence, it cannot kill friendship It cannot shut out the memories, it cannot silence courage It cannot invade the soul, it cannot reduce eternal life. It cannot quench the Spirit. Our greatest enemy is not disease, but despair. —